|
|
Hen occasionally tells me to stop yelling about something when I think we are having a perfectly quiet, rational conversion about it. So apparently I have a flaw in my hearing or perception of the inflection of my own voice. WHATEVER!.
Still, there are times when I can feel my temperature starting to rise uncontrollably but I know society will run my through court and anger management classes if I give vent to what I really want to do.
Case in point: I know this is unintentional and completely non-aggressive in nature, but I can often see the following falling into place in front of me and there is nothing you can do about it: You are walking through a crowd and in a hurry for whatever reason. Up ahead, you can see Slow Stroller 1 (SS1) and SS2 cruising along well below the posted pedestrian speed limit. You bear to the right or left, depending on the situation only to have SS3 and SS4 fall in beside them, causing a phalanx of near dead slow progression that blocks all lanes of traffic.
They are just wide enough that you would have to actually touch them to pass on either the right or the left. You bob and weave a bit, but there are no openings to be had. Ever.
What I want to do: Blammo! red-rover style, sending stretch pants and cottage cheese in all directions to splatter the crowd in gore.
What really happens: 
Your turn, go.
|
|
|
Like This? Rate It!
|
|
Hilarious
6 votes
4.2
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054221299
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hilarious
7 votes
4.6
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054221301
Big Irish Guy 203,956  21
01/31/2012 11:29 AM
When you are waiting to get a drink at a bar and the person who has been flailing around to get the bartender's attention finally is being served...then turns to his/her friends and ask what they want...."KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU GET THERE Emerson."
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
4 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054221311
Fratberry 283,059 53
01/31/2012 12:15 PM
Don't tell me that one project is my top priority and I and my group should spend all our efforts on it to get it done and THEN hound me about why the other projects aren't getting done.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT, DO IT YOUR OWN mother-FrostING GODDAMN SELF OR SHUT YOUR mother-FrostING PRAY HOLE AND LEAVE ME THE HOLY GODDAMN Frost ALONE.
Yeah, 17 straight days of migraines (here he goes again) tends to Frost with your temper just a skosh.
CHOOSE LIFE!!1
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054221312
Declan's Garlic McManus Potatoes 131,891 36
01/31/2012 12:19 PM
Sounds like someone has a bad case of "Code Monkey."
"Goddamn log-in page himself."
|
| |
|
|
|
Hilarious
2 votes
4.5
/live?func=new_user&msgid=1054221505
Fratberry 283,059 53
02/01/2012 10:16 PM
You wouldn't believe how much that helped to get that off my chest. I had a good talk with my boss this morning (after I crapped all over our department's conference call this morning... kinda like a cherry on top) and "gameplanned" (blech) the open projects "moving forward" (also blech).
|
|
|
|
Store
286,651 
61