HighSoci 30,109 18
02/07/2012 09:10 PM

How did I lose 120lbs???













Divorce

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/08/2012 08:52 AM

I really have lost 30 pounds since the first of the year. I recommend a strict regimen of migraines. I'm going to see my doctor today. I plan on kicking him in the nuts and letting him figure out for himself whether or not I still have the damn things.

Article or arrest to follow.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
02/08/2012 09:19 AM

Next month on ZUG:

Frat as a Stick

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 09:57 AM

The good news is that I've lost 35 pounds since the first of the year. The bad news is that I still weigh 255. But I've lost so much weight my teeth fit better.

My goal is 200 by April 28th. Ninety pounds in four months? That's unpossible! And yet...

Aristo-reader 3,333 17
02/15/2012 11:27 AM

Here's a diet idea...

Step 1: Eat 6 servings a day of all natural, unprocessed fruits and vegetables

Step B: Every day, drink 3 liters of all natural, imported Mexican river water

Triangle: Profit!

Chickens don't usually get this old 286,651 61
02/15/2012 11:58 AM

Step B: Every day, drink 3 liters of all natural, imported Mexican river water

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
02/15/2012 02:00 PM

He seemed the happiest of men. I say "seemed," for eighteen years later, when he was near death and fever raged throughout his slender frame, he was heard to cry out, "My fat! Bring me my fat! Oh, please! I must have my fat! Oh, somebody lay some avoirdupois on me! What a fool I've been. To part with one's fat! I must have been in league with the Devil!" I think that the point of the story is obvious.

Woody Allen, Getting Even ('Notes From The Overfed')

Chickens don't usually get this old 286,651 61
02/15/2012 02:46 PM

That's sheer awesomesause, Katchikita.

Pram 80,728 42
02/15/2012 02:51 PM

How Did I Lose 30 Pounds?

Two of your cats ran away.

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 05:44 PM

That's actually kinda close to what I've been doing. Except for step 2. (I lost 20 pounds before starting this new cleansing diet thing and 15 pounds since then) I've had nothing to drink but spring or purified water the past 22 days. No coffee, tea, soft drinks, fruit juices... nothing at all with caffeine. During that period I had to stick to only certain kinds of organic or all-natural vegetables for the first ten days. Nothing canned. Now I can eat chicken or non-bottom-feeding fish. I now love lentils. Kind of a cross between a black-eyed pea and a potato.

Now that I'm past the 21 day diet I can start introducing other foods back to my daily routine. But it's all about portion control, staying away from fast food, all of the junk you get at your local Quick Trip. And if I eat anything after around 8 or 9pm it has to be some type of fruit or vegetable as a snack.

I feel a lot better although when my head starts pounding with the migraines it feels like it's growing to the size of Newt Gingrich's Sputnik-sized melon.

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 05:46 PM

I that's what I was supposed to do five hours ago. Click submit.

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 05:47 PM

I?