Whistler 186,138 44
02/15/2012 05:57 PM

It's colder than a sauna!


(Sorry. 68 degrees and sunny here in Phoenix.)

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 05:58 PM

Since I hate following rules...

"It's so cold I'm going to have to get someone to blow in my mouth so my dick will pop out again."

Barney already in use 2,612 19
02/15/2012 06:13 PM

Its colder than my wife's heart the day after our 25th anniversary.(that I forgot)

35 yr old Panda with old eggs 181,795 70
02/15/2012 06:18 PM

Actually, it's colder than Brad's wife's vagina since their 25th anniversary (that he forgot.)

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 06:19 PM

It's colder than the south end of a northbound Bob Johnson.

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 06:20 PM

That sucked.

Fratberry 283,059 53
02/15/2012 06:23 PM

I think Panda knows something we don't. Or maybe the exact opposite. In reverse.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
02/15/2012 06:28 PM

That's it Barney.

You and me, 20 paces, throwing stars.

Survivor Winner gets to keep the icon.

Brad Poynter 36,184 48
02/15/2012 06:35 PM

Colder than a naked pygmy building an igloo on the dark side of the moon.

Thud 68,525 19
02/15/2012 06:48 PM

Colder than those bodies I hid in Alaska.

Barney already in use 2,612 19
02/15/2012 06:51 PM

Its colder than my corpse after Brad's latest experiment.

Thud 68,525 19
02/15/2012 06:57 PM

It's colder than [your/your s/o name]'s tiny [insert choice of anatomical terms] after they forgot [insert "romantic" holiday/occasion].

Dasypygal 14,815 17
02/15/2012 06:58 PM

Colder than Whitney's left tit.




Cummings. Whitney Cummings.

(Even I'm not that cold.)

Thud 68,525 19
02/15/2012 07:10 PM

It's colder than the popsicles they sell in the convenience store Pram works at out the back of Pants' van.

Thud 68,525 19
02/15/2012 07:12 PM

It's colder than that. Yep, even that.





That too.


And that.

Automatic Drawing Jeeni~I want 2 draw you a fish! 47,815 51
02/15/2012 08:05 PM

Oil costs are awful this year, so we've been keeping our thermostat extremely low* and are using electric heaters only in rooms we're in.

It's Frost-ing colder than Russia in our house!








*54 degrees. Seriously.

The High Priestess 58,986 29
02/15/2012 08:35 PM

It's butt crack cold. That's right, so cold even your butt crack can't keep your (or anyone else's) hands warm.

Chickens don't usually get this old 286,651 61
02/15/2012 09:46 PM

Colder than Shelle's dead uterus floating in a jar of formaldehyde.


Too far?

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
02/15/2012 11:31 PM

Cold enough for ya?

Midgets 96,156 48
02/15/2012 11:45 PM

What's long, cold, and lonely?









Whitney Houstons crack pipe.

The Laziest Ravos 63,472 21
02/16/2012 03:48 AM

Its colder than vagina shaped ice-cubes.

turtle - does not resolute. 42,578 26
02/16/2012 08:50 AM

It's colder than it is during the warmer months.




It has actually been warmer than usual up here in the lovely Suburbs of Boston.

Dogs Akimbo 211,630 32
02/16/2012 11:32 PM

It's so cold, I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both skating.

Closet Friend 7,665 11
02/17/2012 12:42 AM

It's colder than Kardashian cash!

The Laziest Ravos 63,472 21
02/17/2012 01:15 AM

Its colder than the Greek economy.

Straw frozen, but not in carbonite 98,023 37
02/17/2012 10:15 AM

It's frostier than Newt Gingrich's welcome at a gay bar.

Automatic Drawing Jeeni~I want 2 draw you a fish! 47,815 51
02/17/2012 02:55 PM

This winter is frigorific!

Suzy Creamcheese 3,009 9
02/17/2012 04:14 PM

It's so cold my honeybucket froze over!

Suzy Creamcheese 3,009 9
02/17/2012 04:14 PM

It's so cold outside I can hardly chip the seal meat out of the barrel.

Suzy Creamcheese 3,009 9
02/17/2012 04:16 PM

It's so cold outside the Natives are staying indoors to drink.

Pudding Pops's Ghost 1,379 9
02/17/2012 09:09 PM

It's so cold, I gave my boyfriend a hug and now he has two holes in his shirt.

The Lobster. 18,572 33
02/17/2012 09:17 PM

It's colder than the glare I got from your mother when I told her to make me a sammich after sex.

Pubah... 56,858 18
02/17/2012 11:38 PM

It's colder than freon...

It's colder than a witches heart...

It's colder than a Republicans heart (if they had one)...

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
02/19/2012 12:03 AM

It's colder out than a feminist's Carroll, and twice as hairy.

It's colder than Joe Jackson's last heartbeat.

It's colder than Zug Live if new posts generated heat.

Lorenzo Duke 3,183 11
02/19/2012 12:04 AM

It's colder than Gary Glitter's reception at the Junior Eurovision Song Contest.

John Hargrave 128,751 73
02/21/2012 12:27 PM

It's colder than a polar bear's yambag.

Thud 68,525 19
02/21/2012 06:14 PM

It's colder than the NAMBLA PR department's inbox.

KChiki - Techno Geek Nerd Princess 128,455 98
02/22/2012 10:58 AM

Results!

Here are the top posts for this week's cross-platform Comedy Challenge SMACKDOWN!

ZUG.com
I kind of agonized over who actually came out ahead this week, but finally decided that PuddingPops' post had the most votes: "It's so cold, I gave my boyfriend a hug and now he has two holes in his shirt."

Facebook
Craig Winsberg came up with: "A guy just walked his dog by and, instead of a pooper-scooper, he had a golf club."

Google+
Zac Smith didn't exactly stick to the format but it still works: "The cat's colder than the dog who is inside the house, laughing while watching that cat freeze its balls off."

Twitter
Jim Hodgson (@jimhodgson) submitted: "It's colder than an ex-wife's hello."

Huzzah!

Shelle 77,143 25
02/22/2012 03:39 PM

Colder than Shelle's dead uterus floating in a jar of formaldehyde.


Too far?

Maybe too far for others, but just right for me. It gave me warm fuzzies, just like a sentiment on a Hallmark card. An extremely Frosted up Hallmark card.


Sadly, times got hard and I ended up selling Little Shell. Look for her on a future episode of Fear Factor.

Chickens don't usually get this old 286,651 61
02/22/2012 03:45 PM

"Pass the earthworms. You're eating the uterus."

Shelle 77,143 25
02/22/2012 04:55 PM

"Pass the earthworms. You're eating the uterus."


I think it's time that Fear Factor made their contestants eat some female parts. They've had plenty of testicles. It's time for some uterus. Or ovaries. Or cow labia.

Pubah... 56,858 18
03/20/2012 12:44 PM

"...where it's so cold
coffee freezes in the cup.
And when the chickens start laying eggs
they lay them standing up..."

From The Beverly Hillbillies

Drewcifer & The Bad Seeds 46,380 58
03/20/2012 02:48 PM

I think it's time that Fear Factor made their contestants eat some female parts.

I've eaten some female parts that were pretty frightening. I used to be a heavy drinker.