Callie Mollari 14,455 12
10/11/2001 07:40 PM

Limp chickens lie about a farm scene.Sign above the entrance to the farm reads "Boneless Chicken Ranch"

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/11/2001 07:41 PM

Mr. Feeble, have you seen Larson's book "The Prehistory of the Far Side"? It's a behind the scenes thing. Funny as hell.



As for my favorite cartoon, that's a tough one.



One I like very much is:



[scene: middle of the ocean. In the background is a sinking ship. In the foreground is a tiny island populated by a man, clearly a scientist of some sort, in a lab coat, glasses, etc. and a duck with its mouth open indicating that the caption is the duck speaking.]



Caption: "So, we meet again, Dr. (somebody). But this time, the advantage is mine."

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 07:43 PM

Scene: 3 silhouettes (one with swept-back hair) in a garret window. One says: "I'd like you to meet our new houseguest, mother." Coming down, you see the building is labeled "Bates Motel".



Caption: What really happened to Elvis.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 07:44 PM

Yes, I have.



Scene: Several whales, surrounded by bubbles. One whale has an odd smile on his face.



Caption: "Kevin! That was you!"

Moon 4,366 13
10/11/2001 07:46 PM

Scene: A living room with a dog in chair and a cat serving him wine.



Bubble: Why dont YOU have some wine now, PLEASE TAKE THE ONE CLOSEST TO YOU.



Caption: When dumb animals try to kill.

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/11/2001 07:48 PM

Excellent.



On of my favorite bits in that book were those two times when the captions from The Far Side and Dennis the Menace got accidentally transposed......



Scene: The family is at the dinner table; Mom, Dad, the baby, and Dennis. Dennis is leaning over the table to speak]



"I see your little petrified skull labeled and sitting on a shelf somewhere."

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 07:50 PM

I think it was "Not Hamsters Again".



Anyway, to fulfill my pledge in postbear's thread.



Scene: One caveman is pounding a log with a rock. A similar caveman is standing by, smoking a cigar and wearing a hat. A dissimilar (smaller and hairier) caveman is watching.



Caption: "When Og's agent saw the austreopiticus watching, he knew he had a crossover hit."

aushie paushie, puddin and pie 5,578 11
10/11/2001 07:50 PM

Goldfish standing on an end table, looking up at their ex-bowl, which is in flames . . .



"Well, we made it out. 'Course, now we're equally screwed."

BaronGecko 0 0
10/11/2001 07:53 PM

so many good comics. hmmmm



ok here are two:



Scene: a man in the back of a cab, holding a large snake with a horrified looking cabby.



Caption: "good god man get us to the zoo quickly, shes dropping babies everywhere"



second place



Scene: Inside a cave 4 bears are sitting around, one bear is pointing at a 5th "bear" growling. The 5th bear is obviously a scientist in a suit, it has cut out eyes and a zipper. he is holding a notepad. his though balloon says "zippy? zippo? dang this one is hard. zipper! yes zipper!"



Caption: Professor Wainwright's painstaking fieild research to decode the language of the bears comes to a horrific end.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 07:54 PM

Scene: Goldfish bowl; hole in side; water pouring out; fish are wearing caps and baseball gloves.

1bigdork 7,825 12
10/11/2001 07:56 PM

Cat following trail of "Cat Fud" signs leading up to and pointing into front-loading washing machine.



Dog behind washing machine door praying silently, "Oh Please, oh please."

1bigdork 7,825 12
10/11/2001 07:56 PM

Frost! Sorry Declan.

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 07:58 PM

Larson's usual small boy (big head, glasses, striped shirt) is pulling a door marked PUSH, just below a sign marked ACADEMY FOR THE GIFTED.

1bigdork 7,825 12
10/11/2001 08:00 PM

O.K. Next try:



P.O.V. shot through a rifle scope. Two bears are standing side by side. The bear in the crosshairs is flashing a cheesy grin (the type you get when you just put a "kick me" sign on someone) and is pointing to the other bear.



The implied caption is "Wouldn't you much rather shoot this Emerson?"



Caption: The real reason dino

1bigdork 7,825 12
10/11/2001 08:02 PM

Whoops! The extra text is from my other semi-finalist "The real reason dinosaurs became extinct."

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:07 PM

This from what used to be a Far Side fan site:



**



Re: On-line Use of The Far Side Cartoons



TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:



I'm walking a fine line here. On the one hand, I confess to finding it quite flattering that some of my fans have created Web sites displaying and/or distributing my work on the Internet. And on the other, I'm struggling to find the words that convincingly but sensitively persuade these Far Side enthusiasts to "cease and desist" before they have to read these words from some lawyer.



What impact this unauthorized use has had (and is having) in tangible terms is, naturally, of great concern to my publishers and therefore to me -- but it's not the focus of this letter. My effort here is to try and speak to the intangible impact, the emotional cost to me personally, of seeing my work collected, digitized and offered up in cyberspace beyond my control.

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:07 PM

(Contd)



Years ago, I was having lunch one day with the cartoonist Richard Guindon, and the subject came up of how neither one of us ever solicited or accepted ideas from others. But until Richard summed it up quite neatly, I never really understood my own aversion to doing this: "It's like having someone else write in your diary," he said. And how true that statement rang with me. In effect, we drew cartoons that we hoped would be entertaining or, at the very least, not boring; but regardless, they would always come from an intensely personal, and therefore original, perspective.



To attempt to be "funny" is a very scary, risk-laden proposition. (Ask any stand-up comic who has ever "bombed" on stage.) But if there was ever an axiom to follow in this business, it would be this: Be honest to yourself and -- most important -- respect your audience. So, in a nutshell (probably an unfortunate choice of words for me), I ask only that this respect be returned, and the way for anyone to do that is to please, please refrain from putting The Far Side out on the Internet. These cartoons are my "children" of sorts, and like a parent I'm concerned about where they go at night without telling me. And seeing them at someone's Web site is like getting the call at 2:00 a.m. that goes, "Uh, Dad, you're not going to like this much, but guess where I am."



I hope my explanation helps you to understand the importance this has for me personally, and why I'm making this request.



Please send my "kids" home. I'll be eternally grateful.



Most respectfully,



Gary Larson

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:07 PM

Gary Larson's posts are as long as Ford's.

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:12 PM

Yup!

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:13 PM

Actually, I thought it was rather interesting. What are your thoughts on his asking people not to show his comics online? After all, we all buy the calendars and the books, the diaries and the notepads...

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:15 PM

OK. Back on topic.



Two spiders have strung a web across the bottom of a children's slide. One says to the other, "If we pull this off, we'll eat like kings."

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 08:20 PM

Two spiders, one facing us, one with it's back to us. The one facing us is wearing a crude "human" mask. The one facing away has a trail of silk from one spinnaret, extending off the bottom of the frame.



Caption: "Hey, Bob, did I scare you, or what?"



I don't think Mr. Larson would object to this use of his cartoons. No one will download this thread in preference to buying his calendar....

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:23 PM

Emaciated, elderly cow, smoking a cigarette.



Caption: Where Beef Jerky Comes From.

Ford Prefect 5,475 12
10/11/2001 08:26 PM

One of my favorite things about Larson is he uses miniature dachsunds, a.k.a "wiener dogs," and that's what we had when I was growing up.



One that I recall loving was a picture of a wiener dog standing in front of a window with a giant bug-eyed monster staring in at him. Caption: "Fifi decides to forego her usual barking frenzy."



My little brother taped it up in front of the food dish of this dog where it hung for years. I think it was especially funny to us because of just what a wild barker she was when the doorbell rang.

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:27 PM

Three people in the desert, a loooong line of footprints behind them. They are all wearing rags, and look exhausted. They have come across a water fountain.



Speech bubble: "Now just hold your horses, everyone. Let's just run it a minute and see if it gets any colder."

Pobble 1,937 12
10/11/2001 08:38 PM

Upside down fish with glum face is shooting towards the surface of the water, two white cubes attached to either side of his tail.



"Embedded in styrofoam 'shoes', Carl is sent to 'sleep with the humans.'"

Merlin 10,008 12
10/11/2001 08:44 PM

Oh, no question...



Office meeting room, several dogs sitting around a conference table, one dog at the end in the middle of explaining a chart.



Caption: "Well, I see Mr. Sparky has found something much more interesting than this meeting."



Sparky is, of course, licking his balls.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 08:49 PM

Scene: Several tough-looking sheep (one even has an eye patch) standing around a fenced meadow.



Caption: "The sheep that give us steel wool have no natural enemies".

Feeble 32,396 14
10/11/2001 08:51 PM

I suppose I should mention the one that hangs over my desk.



Scene: A beach. Two bathing beauties are standing near one scientist, but they are clearly smitten with a second scientist. The first scientist is holding a chalkboard with a simple equation on it; the second scientist's chalkboard has a much larger, more complex equation.

DoverChilde 385 11
10/11/2001 09:03 PM

Wow...



Someone with a bit of talent & way too much time on his hands.

SPNDXAVNGR 251 11
10/11/2001 10:42 PM

Scene:Living room with empty playpen. Large snake with obvious bulge in middle.

Caption:No, I didn't really draw this.

17,441 12
10/11/2001 10:53 PM

We should all applaud Pobble for not only aspiring to be a lawyer, but for also being a Carroll. To use my words, which kindly asked people to stop using my work as a way to attract traffic to their websites, to attempt a spite-ridden jab at Gab person...



What a piece of Shakespeare you are. Have you learned nothing from my cartoons?

Fronzel Neekburm 15,959 12
10/11/2001 11:00 PM

I sometimes wonder if Bonky and Gary Larsen are the same person.

Scooter Brown 19,936 12
10/11/2001 11:07 PM

*punches Gary Larson in the nuts*

CandieKohrne 8,640 14
10/11/2001 11:07 PM

Four-panel:



1. Cows standing upright on back legs, in small groups having chats.



2. One cow yells, "Car!"



3. All the cows are down on all four hooves, eating grass. Car goes by.



4. Cows resume to conversations on two legs.

CandieKohrne 8,640 14
10/11/2001 11:10 PM

Discussion of Far Side cartoons is to posting images of original Far Side cartoons as discussion of a song is to making the full song available for download.



Although copyright laws apply to making the artwork itself available without permission of the artist, they do not extend to having a nice chat about our favorites of this great cartoon.

Scooter Brown 19,936 12
10/11/2001 11:14 PM

I think Pobble just posted that because we were talking about the Far Side and it was an interesting thing related to the subject. And everybody takes jabs at Ford's long posts. If we didn't it would mean we didn't love him anymore. As far as I can tell Pobble and Ford are getting along again or at least keeping it off the board.



Plus, Pobble smooched me the other day, so I like her again.

Swollen Uvula 1,768 12
10/12/2001 01:03 AM

Scene: 3 french poddles sitting in the middle of the living room, conspiring. Feamle owner is in the kitchen washing dishes.



Caption: "Well, yes, that is the dowside Fluffy. When we kill her, the pampering will end."

Swollen Uvula 1,768 12
10/12/2001 01:04 AM

poddles?



poodles.

Swollen Uvula 1,768 12
10/12/2001 01:05 AM

and, um... dowside = awwwww Shakespeare!

She-bot 909 12
10/12/2001 04:48 AM

Early experiments in transportation.

A big stone wheel sits at the top of a hill. Two men are about to let it roll down. A man is watching, taking notes. A man is tied to the top of the wheel.

General Tsang's Chicken 161 11
10/12/2001 05:35 AM

Feeble you weenier, that's my favorite far side too!!!

Dang you!!!

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 07:15 AM

The scene is an airplane. You see the pilot and co-pilot in the cockpit, and the faces of some very stunned passengers at the windows.



"The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! ... We're all going to die! ... Wait, wait. ... Oh, my mistake -- that's the intercom light."

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 07:33 AM

6-panel jobber.



Pilot gets on intercom, says "Sit down folks, it looks like were in for some turbulence!"



Pilot wrenches wheel back and forth. Pilot and co-pilot laugh uproariously.



Pilot gets back on intercom: "Well, I'm glad that's over - no wait, it looks like were headed into some more turbulence!"

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 07:35 AM

Gary Larson imp:



As far as I can tell, Pobble likes me. As far as I can tell, I don't like you. Please die in a manner that would make the real Mr. Larson laugh heartily - fall into a pool of pirahna while carrying a bucket of blood, or something.

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 07:38 AM

A ship is sinking. Crates of mannequins are smashed and have dumped their contents. A shark is gnawing on a leg, another has just spit out an arm.



""What is this? ... Some kind of cruel hoax?"

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 07:45 AM

Inside Bob's Pet Shop. In the foreground, an evil little scowling fish glares out from a fishbowl labelled "Pirhana". In the background, looking warily at the fish, is a cat with wooden forelegs.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 07:54 AM

Scene: Two sharks, all dressed up.

Caption: Female shark: "Well, if you're ready to go, I'm dressed to kill".

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 07:59 AM

Godzilla behind the wheel of a car with a bumper sticker saying I 8 NY.

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 08:04 AM

A dinosaur at a podium on a stage, addressing a hall full of dinosaurs:



"The picture's pretty bleak, gentlemen. ... The world's climates are changing, the mammals are taking over, and we all have a brain about the size of a walnut."

vertical bob 26,707 12
10/12/2001 08:19 AM

There's a car in the driveway. A guy's just gotten behind the wheel and is starting it up. His dog, tail wagging, has his head out the back window, talking to the neighbor's dog.



"Ha ha ha, Biff. Guess what? After we go to the drugstore and the post office, I'm going to the vet's to get tutored."

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 08:55 AM

Scene: 4 dogs in a car. One is being pulled out the window by his collar.



Caption: "The joyride came to a sudden end for Biff when the gang realized they had forgotten to untie him".

Adrian Von Buttcrack 13,331 12
10/12/2001 09:03 AM

Scene:Two of the goofy lookiing kids standing by a tree on the river bank. From one of the branches hangs a tireswing, with a huge bite taken out of it.



Caption: Ok, Ill go get a new tire, you go tell Bennys mom.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 09:05 AM

Scene: Indignant parents, hands on hips, looking at an embarassed witch.



Caption: "So, let me get this straight - you cooked and ate them BOTH?"

Dead Robot 67,626 15
10/12/2001 09:10 AM

Holy crap I can't believe you people didnt mention this one:



Vultures huddled tight around something in the desert. One is wearing a cowboy hat



Caption; "Hey guys! I'm a cowboy! Howdy Howdy Howdy!"

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 09:14 AM

Somehow, DR, that one seems like it should be Sperel's favorite.

20Chickens, the one with the Tool 282,028 58
10/12/2001 10:00 AM

The cat fud one is my all time favorite. Damn you both for beating me to this thread.

20Chickens, the one with the Tool 282,028 58
10/12/2001 10:04 AM

thanks for the wallpaper though

postbear 10,153 12
10/12/2001 10:32 AM

what is "the far side"?

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/12/2001 10:33 AM

It's a series of trading cards, kinda similar to Pokemon but more adult oriented.

postbear 10,153 12
10/12/2001 10:34 AM

it sounds dull.

Bonky 75,728 14
10/12/2001 10:39 AM

This one seems appropriate.



Scene: Several geeky looking doofs walking in flames and Satan is behind them.



Bubble: "Hot enough for ya?"



Caption: Nerds in Hell.

Bonky 75,728 14
10/12/2001 10:41 AM

Another,



Scene: A large bowl of dark liquidy stuff, one fly on the lip of the bowl, another with his eyes barely poking out of the liquid.

The fly on the lip is yelling, "Barbara! I'm goin' for help -- tread soup!"

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/12/2001 10:45 AM

A disheveled couch, cushions on the floor. A man standing there holding some unidentifiable contraption.



"Herman finds his purpose."

Bonky 75,728 14
10/12/2001 10:47 AM

A car with two men inside in the middle of a field with lions gazing upon them. One lion is fiddling with something near the driver's door.



Caption: "Driv, George, drive! This one's got a coat hanger!"

DoverChilde 385 11
10/12/2001 11:10 AM

Farmer approaches two cows huddling over an outline drawing of a human with sections labeled "shoulder chops," "spare ribs," "throw-away"



Caption: Farmer Brown froze in his tracks; the cows stared wide-eyed back at him. Somewhere, off in the distance, a dog barked.

DoverChilde 385 11
10/12/2001 11:14 AM

C'mon people, there are so many left to be mentioned.



"Blah blah blah blah Ginger blah blah blah. Blah blah Ginger blah..."

DoverChilde 385 11
10/12/2001 11:18 AM

Ah ha ha!



Elephant sitting at a piano in front of a crowded hall...



Elephant: "What am I doing here? I can't play this thing! I'm a flutist, for crying out loud!

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/12/2001 11:22 AM

A bunch of scientists in lab coats standing around. One scientist is kinda bent over a table and has his mouth pursed as if to make an "Ooooooooo" sound. Another guy is behind him drumming on the first guy's back with his fists.





"And if you notice, gentlemen, the faster I go, the more Hobson sounds like a motorboat."

Nutbutter 181,220 34
10/12/2001 12:07 PM

From the book Vicar mentioned, in the "rejected cartoons" section:



A bunch of doctors standing around an operating table working on a patient. One of the doctors is holding up a scrap of meat for a dog.

sparkythewonderdog 2,144 11
10/12/2001 03:46 PM

Frankstein-ish castle. Two guys sitting in chairs in front of fireplace. Third guy holding door open to reveal a nose on the threshold, with lightening in the background. Guy at door says "Oh my God, it's the severed nose of Dr. Verlucci, returned on the anniversary of the night we all betrayed him!"



Caption: Scene from The Return of the Nose of Dr. Verlucci

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 03:50 PM

Vicar, that was "Notice how much Simmons sounds like a motorboat." Believe me, I know. There were about 7 or 8 "Simmons" Far Sides - at one time I had them all outside my cubicle next to my nameplate.



Scene: Scientist is pouring a river of vermin out of his boots before lacing them up. Next to him, with a horrified expression, is another scientist with extremely lumpy boots.



(possibly unneeded) caption: "Suddenly, Dr. Goodson realized he had forgotten to empty out his boots before putting them on".

sparkythewonderdog 2,144 11
10/12/2001 03:55 PM

Guy in frumpy pajamas sitting on the end of the bed in a trashy looking room. There is a chicken sitting on the windowsill in front of him.



Caption: The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Bob is visited by the Chicken of Depression.

Dead Robot 67,626 15
10/12/2001 04:18 PM

Chichen suspended from a small balloon floating into a room full of Samurais.



I can't remember the caption, but that image alone was pant wetting.

Ford Prefect 5,475 12
10/12/2001 04:21 PM

DR, I think it was the expression on the chicken that was the best part.

Peon 6,076 12
10/12/2001 04:36 PM

One of my faves is the stages of evolution with Neanderthal man, Cro-Magnon man, I forget the third, and Jazz man.



Also, these two are pretty funny.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 06:02 PM

Peon, I like that one.



Then there was the one with this bemused guy looking down from his window, at an angry mob waving signs and torches.



"The world was angry. They needed a scapegoat. They found Wayne."

Nutbutter 181,220 34
10/12/2001 06:05 PM

Or the one where the scientist looking guy is standing over the woman. She has her pants down around her ankles and a bruise on her face. The caption reads "Take that! You whore!"



I love that one. Larsen is a genius.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 06:10 PM

It's Larson, you moron, and that wasn't a Far Side, that was just how he paid your mom.

Nutbutter 181,220 34
10/12/2001 06:11 PM

Don't make me play the Holiday Hogan card again, Feeble.

The Dirty Vicar 17,441 12
10/12/2001 06:15 PM

I'll trade you two The Goos cards for a Holiday Hogan card.

Nutbutter 181,220 34
10/12/2001 06:17 PM

No way. This is the original Holiday Hogan card. The one where he's making the retard face. Not the politically correct re-issue.

SheCabbage 5,200 12
10/12/2001 06:23 PM

Scene: Two Neanderthal men. One is standing waist-deep in the water. On the left side of the panel looms the head of a very large, toothy, angry-looking fish. The other Neanderthal is standing on a ledge above the first, a spear poised in an upraised fist. The first Neanderthal is shouting, a panicked expression on his face.



Caption: "Throw, Grog, throw! Throw throw throw throw throw!"

SheCabbage 5,200 12
10/12/2001 06:24 PM

Here's another...



Scene: Small chihuahua-looking dog standing on a stool at a kitchen counter, making a cup of espresso.



Caption: How nervous little dogs prepare for their day.

Feeble 32,396 14
10/12/2001 06:26 PM

Scene: Fat woman standing at window, calling "Here, Fifi! Here, Fifi!". The doggie door is boarded shut. Fifi can be seen racing towards the door.



No caption needed.

SheCabbage 5,200 12
10/12/2001 06:28 PM

Last favorite, I don't remember it exactly but bear with me:



Scene: Kitchen. Cows are standing around, rooting through cabinets and generally being nosy. One cow stands before the fridge, a hoof on the handle to the open freezer door. This cow has a very shocked expression on her face.



Caption: While the farmer was away the cows were having the time of their lives, until Bessie's unwitting discovery.

CandieKohrne 8,640 14
10/12/2001 06:32 PM

I love that coffee one, SCab.