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New feature: ZUG Bits!
A comedy article by John Hargrave 119,938 37
02/24/2002 09:35 PM 131 views

I'm John Hargrave, and I'm here to tell you about the newest feature to slam into GAB like a semi-truck full of live chickens: ZUG BITS.



ZUG Bits are like your favorite GAB conversations, but in a more full-featured article format. They can be longer and include images, which makes them perfect for caption contests, links to other websites, and original comedy pieces.



They'll also be moderated. When you submit a ZUG Bit, it will go into a holding area where it will be inspected and analyzed by our crack team of comedy professionals, that is, our comedy professionals who smoke crack. If approved, it will show up on GAB within a few days and everyone will be able to find it via the dropdown menu. If not, you'll never hear from us again.



Mad props to Tim and Mike for the amazing coding job. We hope you find ZUG Bits an enjoyable addition to GAB, and, more importantly, that I never use the phrase "mad props" again.

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Hilarious 11 votes 4.5 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389814
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31 Comments on "

New feature: ZUG Bits!

"

(Funniest: Only 97% as Feeble)


  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389830
Julio the Microbus driver! 13,423 11
02/24/2002 09:47 PM

what if your crack smoking comedy experts go on vacation?



what then? WHAT THEN I ASK!?!?



shall we be forsaken?



forsaken to the baren wastes of unhappyness?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389836
aushie 5,578 10
02/24/2002 09:50 PM

So . . . the goatse guy probably won't be approved, right?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389838
Timmy The Talking Toilet 11,552 13
02/24/2002 09:51 PM

sounds interesting, yet dangerous

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389840
Julio the Microbus driver! 13,423 11
02/24/2002 09:52 PM

if the goatse guy is approved, the fecaljapan gal has to be approved too.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389857
Nutbutter 152,466 14
02/24/2002 10:14 PM

Very cool idea. I think we'll have fun with this.



Who gets to moderate it? I hope it's Trixxie.



 

Hilarious 0 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389907
Declan (Now With Cookies) McManus 117,066 15
02/24/2002 11:11 PM

Kibbles and bits!



Kibbles and bits!



Gonna get me some kibbles and bits!



</stupid DOG voice>

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389915
Julio the Microbus driver! 13,423 11
02/24/2002 11:16 PM

bits need to accessable from the gab homepage more easially.



its too much of a hastle.



maybe two lists?



not a drop down menu

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389948
Mike/Moon, Directed by John Woo 4,346 11
02/24/2002 11:32 PM

so ford wont be allowed to post right?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389951
Mike/Moon, Directed by John Woo 4,346 11
02/24/2002 11:33 PM

this is the all time funniest bit!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389953
Kenshin 2,464 11
02/24/2002 11:34 PM

Wow! Bits are cool! So CandieKorhne, when will you post my webcam in the photo gallery?



And who's on the crack team?

 

Hilarious 0 votes 4.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=389960
Mike/Moon, Directed by John Woo 4,346 11
02/24/2002 11:35 PM

Only Gab's funniest! You, me and Therlin of course!

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390019
Squeamish 38,188 11
02/25/2002 12:04 AM

Oh, so this is why John asked me to be a "moderator."

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390079
Therlin con la cabeza afeitada 12,178 11
02/25/2002 12:28 AM

Who is this Mike person that John keeps referring to? I don't think he exists. Because we know it's not Mike Moon.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390142
Julio the Microbus driver! 13,423 11
02/25/2002 01:00 AM

wait... everyone is mike moon

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390145
Capricious Nefarious Jones 78,464 11
02/25/2002 01:02 AM

I fear that this will go the way of the former voting bot and the pet rock.

 

Chuckleworthy 0 votes 2.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390214
Lindsey 986 10
02/25/2002 02:55 AM

You just wanted to be able to use the phrase "funny bits" more often, didn't you?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390370
Bonky 75,365 13
02/25/2002 10:51 AM





The only thing I've noticed is that getting back to regular GAB is more tedious.



And, I'm all about the tedious.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390386
shoelace414 10,072 11
02/25/2002 11:02 AM

Zug Bits broken with gab at work.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390462
Kaizokukanchou Stuby 17,826 11
02/25/2002 11:59 AM

Ford should NEVER be allowed to post here.



THe bandwidth from him and Melanie fighting will break EvilPanda's bank account. The hosting fees would rival the GNP of a European country.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390522
Candie Kohrne Signora Con i Gatti 8,607 11
02/25/2002 12:53 PM

So CandieKorhne, when will you post my webcam in the photo gallery?



Kenshin, try checking out the Album before you ask me these silly questions.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390624
Jinx's Big Ego 5,825 11
02/25/2002 02:15 PM

I would like the bits to be integrated in with the comedy threads as the default setting. Otherwise, GAB seems rather fragmented to me. Of course PART of that may be my trouble with the drop-down menu.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390625
shoelace414 10,072 11
02/25/2002 02:16 PM

I want bits to eithetr no show up in gab at work. or make them work in gab at work.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=390676
+18Chickens 244,402 20
02/25/2002 03:09 PM

What about the naughty bits. Huh?





WHAT ABOUT THEM?

 

Side-splitting 1 votes 5.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=391163
Only 97% as Feeble 32,188 11
02/25/2002 07:26 PM

How about the dirty bits for dynamic memory access schemes using paging?

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=787050
Supermon 256 7
10/27/2003 11:57 AM

nice pic dude

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=787059
Trae is a Sassy Goat 156,293 13
10/27/2003 12:12 PM

You are a tard.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=787077
Livewire 77,958 9
10/27/2003 12:44 PM

<action>rings Supermon's doorbell and runs away.</action>

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=787079
±½ the blackhole 1,666 12
10/27/2003 12:49 PM

*puts tacks on the doomat and a package on the first step and rings the door bell and watches from a distance*

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1454645
En Vino 9 5
05/01/2006 05:22 PM

I can't believe I've read them all! Thanks to my OCD, I've read every one of JH's articles/bits, only to discover that there's another "archive" page of his journal entries to read.



Well, looks like I'll have some more reading material for the next few months.



By the way John, keep up the good work, you've got a great sense of humor.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1454648
Senorita JM-will work for slave wages 24,648 7
05/01/2006 05:24 PM

I don't get it.

 

  0 votes 0.0 /live?func=new_user&msgid=1454652
Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
05/01/2006 05:26 PM

I think he is talking about Johns articles.