Dare to be different? Dare to be Stupid!
A comedy article
by Shoogagoogagunga  76,862  12
03/13/2005 04:45 PM 209 views
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When I was in Junior High school, I was a major Weird Al Yankovic Fan. He was my favorite singer, mainly because, I didn't like anyone I went to school with, so I figured here was this guy making fun of all the music they listen to so I should like this guy.
I first discovered his music when I saw a copy of Weird Al Yankovic In 3-D at Pamida. It was on Vinyl, and I didn't have a record player (I confess that I bought it because I thought it would come with 3-D glasses -- It didn't). I remember borrowing my brother's record player to record it to a cassette so I could listen to it. I thought it was the coolest thing I had ever heard.
So I finally found a singer that I could enjoy as much as my brother enjoyed Madonna (who I loathed -- and still loathe today). So, naturally, when Al's next album came out with the title, Dare To Be Stupid, I was all over it (incidently, Dare To Be Stupid is the first comedy album to be released on Compact Disc - bet you didn't know that little tid-bit did you?). At this point, I knew what it was I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I wanted to be Weird Al Yankovic. No, I didn't want to be LIKE Weird Al Yankovic, I wanted to BE Weird Al Yankovic.
Thus began my transformation. Suddenly, I wanted to live out the mantra "Dare To Be Stupid". And did I ever dare to be stupid.
My mother had long been trying to get me to get my hair curled like my older brother had (apparently she thought her boys would look good as girls). So, after discovering Weird Al Yankovic, this suddenly seemed like a good idea. I allowed my hair to be "styled" instead of cut. I'm sure my dad found this very disturbing. But not as disturbing as what would happen next.
I started begging for hawaiian shirts. My parents relented (most pubescent teens at the time begged for designer clothing and stuff the cool kids had... I begged for anything that I thought would make me look stupid).
So there I was, decked out in my Hawaiian shirt, with my curly locks, looking like Weird Al Yankovic. I would even go so far as to mimic his pose on the "In 3-D" record cover .
By the end of my 9th grade year, I was in full swing. I would sing the lyrics to "Dare To Be Stupid" while walking between classes at school. I would listen to the record over and over at home. So, that year, when the art class I was in were doing a project to silk screen T-shirts, I decided that I wanted to make a Weird Al Yankovic T-shirt.
Some of the other kids were coming up with some pretty fancy designs. One kid, a huge Iron Maiden fan, designed his shirt after the Iron Maiden album cover for "Live After Death". It looked so cool that I brought in an extra shirt and had him silkscreen his design for me (I was just discovering the joys of "Buttrock" at this time).
After hours of painstaking thought and analysis, I finally came up with a design for my T-shirt:
Clearly I had the best design in class! Noone could argue that my shirt wouldn't be the most awesome shirt ever designed! (Ok, the design was pretty crappy, but read on, it gets better).
The first step in silk-screening was to draw out what you were going to have on your shirt. So I carefully traced the block letters for my design. Several hours were spent on this, since, as an artist, I needed to properly fuel my muse by staring at the rather large breasts of Rachel Fisher and then wink at her as I grabbed my crotch. But that's another article for another time...
The next step was to trace what had been drawn onto the silkscreen material (Hey , I don't remember what it was called, it was 20+ years ago!), and then use an exacto knife to cut out what had been drawn. Hours of tracing, measuring, cutting, and crotch-grabbing were performed. Soon I had my silkscreen prepared. All that was left was to prepare the T-shirt for screening (after one last crotch-grab).
Finally the day of screening was upon us. I carefully prepared my shirt, screened it, and now I would iron it! Finally I would have my finished product. Finally the whole school would know that I would no longer be known as Ross Feickert! No! Today I am a man! Today I am Ross "Freaky" Feickert. I unfurled my shirt to see the finished product:
Sure, I wasn't real happy with the outcome.This looked nothing like what I had in mind. I was crestfallen. But I wore the shirt anyway. Sadly, I Frosted up when I ironed it too, and the shirt wound up falling apart where it had been ironed after only a few washings. Bummer.
But, today, as I write this I now realize that the Frost-up was actually appropriate, given the statement my shirt was meant to make. "Dare To Be Stupid"? Well, you sure did. Nice job.
Oh, and Rachel, if you're out there, just for old times sake... grabs crotch. Yeah, baby, you know you want it.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Hilarious
36 votes
4.9
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13 Comments on "Dare to be different? Dare to be Stupid!"
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Ditdah 117,677  11
03/15/2005 02:39 PM
I can't believe you posted an article under that name.
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My Name is Jonas 160,513 12
03/15/2005 02:39 PM
I thought I was the only one who loved Wierd Al with a creepy obsession. I didn't love him as much as you, though. Creep.
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millie 111,186 15
03/15/2005 03:02 PM
I've always hated Madonna too!
<swoons>
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You're all after me Lucky Charms! 169,584 11
03/15/2005 03:10 PM
<action> Grabs Donk's crotch </action>
Yeah you know you want it.
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Shoogagoogagunga 76,862 12
03/17/2005 12:57 AM
I wish TTJ was here to share this moment with me.
I also wish that Rachel Fisher was here. Oh yeah.
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Livewire 77,958 9
03/17/2005 02:47 AM
Honestly, the overall effect of that shirt is better in the second version. I want one.
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Sexual Harassment Panda 136,551 18
03/17/2005 02:53 AM
I can only dare to imagine how many times you had your ass handed to you in school.
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Dogs Akimbo 163,020 15
03/17/2005 08:28 AM
I bet there are lots of Weird Al fans out there who would look to fork over cash for a Dare to Be Stupid shirt.
Perhaps the profits could be used to get some of you poor bastards to Boston?
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DemoMonkey. Period. 165,779 8
03/17/2005 12:03 PM
This is certainly a roundabout way to get TTJ into bed.
Effective though.
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Phuc 233,418 16
03/17/2005 12:23 PM
Ross Feickert.
Come on. That's like "Gern Blanston" or "Gert B. Frobe."
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Shoogagoogagunga 76,862 12
03/19/2005 09:13 PM
Bumping for TTJ
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TableTopJane-I don't use jelly 171,320 12
03/19/2005 09:27 PM
Donk, I was already having dreams about you. Now I'm going to have to start stalking you.
I want you.
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Shoogagoogagunga 76,862 12
03/19/2005 09:30 PM
At least someone appreciates my taste in music.
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