Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:01 PM

of all of the sins i have commited, from cheating on my girlfriends to stealing a car to masturbating in public, the one i feel worst about is voting for george bush in 2000. what a dick.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:02 PM

Sometimes at night when my boyfriend and I are sleeping I get up and fart right in his nose with my bare ass....It's an amazing thrill. It's even better when it's so putrid he wakes up and I blame it on the dog.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:09 PM

<action> wants other people to join in on the damn fun!</action>



one time when i was six i put poop in my sisters chocolate milk and told her that it was hersey kisses.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 142,307 22
06/12/2006 10:11 PM

"my penis is so god damn small, and i hate the fact that girls take smelly Shakespeares every day of their lives!!"

Dogs Akimbo 163,020 15
06/12/2006 10:12 PM

"express yourself" where you do it totally anonymously.



And that is different from GAB how?



No one here knows that I have sex with seventy-year old women.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:13 PM

Just shut up Dogs and go find a crazy confession dammit!

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:15 PM

And this one just reminded me of you Dogs.



"I like grandmas "

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 142,307 22
06/12/2006 10:15 PM

I like this one:

"I'm a married 37-year-old man with a gorgeous wife and two great children. But I want to be sexually dominated by my son's 11-year-old friend. He just has very broad shoulders and a great overall physical build, and is extremely handsome. I melt whenever I see him."

It's not like I'm a pervert, I'm an assistant state prosecutor in Scranton. "

Humphrey B Eating Chicken Curry 51,370 11
06/12/2006 10:19 PM

Sometimes at night when my boyfriend and I are sleeping I get up and fart right in his nose with my bare ass....It's an amazing thrill. It's even better when it's so putrid he wakes up and I blame it on the dog.



These are funny, but useless without pictures.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:19 PM

Now THIS is funny.



"i know a dude called scott and i know that he will be reading this and that disturbs me... this is because i can not talk about him!!



we share a studio at work and i think that he ejaculates under the desk...



either that or the man has some strange milk fetishes... "

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 142,307 22
06/12/2006 10:23 PM

I just posted the following confession over there, but I don't think it will be pass their moderation process:

"I copy/paste confessions from this website to a comedy message board elsewhere on the Internet in order to get some easy orbs."

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:27 PM

I KNOW a GABber had to put this one up



"Today I fingered my Aunts dog while my family was 20 feet away. I feel like I wanna die "

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 142,307 22
06/12/2006 10:32 PM

They even have a handy search function that works! Here are some of the confessions I found with the phrase "chuck norris":

"I fantasize about chuck norris wearing assless chaps and riding an emu."



"If it wasn't for Chuck Norris, my faith in God would still be intact."



"I had a dream that I caught my girlfriend having sex with Chuck Norris. I thought it was awesome, and I made them pancakes afterwards."

The Pantless Wonder 360 5
06/12/2006 10:37 PM

"I like to put dead flies in my grammas oatmeal. she has alzheimers and lives with us. she thinks the flies are raisins and frequently comments on the juicy raisins. "

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:40 PM

<action> pukes.</action>



"I tried to masturbate with my mom's dildo once. It was too big."

The Pantless Wonder 360 5
06/12/2006 10:46 PM

"I anally pleasure myself with spoons."







Who doesn't?

When Midgets attack 56,253 18
06/12/2006 10:48 PM

When I go to the mall, I try to fart on babies when I go past prams.





I once poked a dead guy with a stick for about an hour before I reported it to the cops. I kinda left the stick in his nose.







Bwahaaahhaaa

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 10:59 PM

"sometimes I poop in my pants because I am so busy online reading other peoples' away messages that by the time I dash upstairs to the toilet it's already coming out. I have stained a lot of underwear that way.



I also pick my nose."

When Midgets attack 56,253 18
06/12/2006 11:04 PM

when i was visiting san francisco, i saw a man in a santa claus suit mugging a fat lady. i should have told a nearby policeman, but i was eating a donut. it was a good donut so i didn't want to stop. i ate two boxes.

now i am an overweight alcoholic and i think about that mugger santa every day.









I think I peed just a little.

High Priestess, Now with real Maple Flava! 49,925 13
06/12/2006 11:24 PM

I'm a married 37-year-old man with a gorgeous wife and two great children. But I want to be sexually dominated by my son's 11-year-old friend. He just has very broad shoulders and a great overall physical build, and is extremely handsome. I melt whenever I see him.



It's not like I'm a pervert, I'm an assistant state prosecutor in Scranton.



Hmm.

The Mailman: ringing twice, as always 142,307 22
06/12/2006 11:52 PM

HP, did you copy/paste that from the confession website, or from my post above?

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/12/2006 11:53 PM

I honestly thought the same thing Mailman.

DeeLaLa 95 6
06/13/2006 02:34 AM

I wish someone would assasinate George Bush. Then I think maybe I'm supposed to do it since I'm always hoping that he'll die. But I can't do it because I don't want to go to jail and become somebody's bitch.



I guess that saying is true. "Some people are still alive only because it's illegal to kill."



Does that make me a bad person? That I want George Bush to die? He's sent a lot of people to their deaths why should he be any different?



Somebody please kill him.



525764379 is in a whole lotta trouble!

pendy 987 6
06/13/2006 03:27 AM

i masterbate to george bush when hes on tv



I'm thinking this was the same one that wanted to assassinate Dubya too.





The Frosted up ones are always really, really Frosted up.

AmazingBeauty 244 5
06/13/2006 03:29 AM

I anally pleasure myself with spoons.



...spoons???

THESTALKER the nOOb that posteth too much. 742 0
06/13/2006 03:31 AM

Ok so who put up conf.#720943562?

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 09:04 AM

Cracka, is this you?



"I tell people over the internet that I love them and make them show me their breasts. One time I made a girl play with herself for me.



I've never talked to her since."

the bean machine 303 6
06/13/2006 09:06 AM

i masturbate over my sister and i dream of her all the time , i am 16 and she is 19 there was this family party and she was drunk and me and her shared a bed i offerd a massage and she said ok and stripped 2 her g-string it became so hot i ended up actually bummin her and she then gave me head ever since then we always have oral i know its wrong but i enjoy it so much



I don't see the problem, I masterbate and think about his sister too!!

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 10:13 AM

I added the following. Exaggerated at points, but 3/4 true.



I'm 18 years old, and recently had sex with a 34 year old married woman. I knew it was wrong, but she sucked dick so well for a married chick. When her husband found out, he came after me. I beat his ass, and gave him my large penis up the ass because I just figured he was jealous. I don't think he'll ever report it because well, frankly, what kind of straight, married man is going to admit to getting Frosted in the ass by a young, hung stud?

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 10:14 AM

Shakespeare, I forgot to add that it's #881473985.

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 10:16 AM

i used to kick little kids around the town. they would be sitting in the sand playing with castles and what not, and i would run and kick them over. the kids, not the castle. the louder they cried, the harder i kicked them. then i would take pictures and post them on my website where other people paid to pleasure themselves to them.



i have since been in counseling and have ceased my horrible behavior.



I don't remember when I posted that, and I have most certainly not ceased kicking kids and putting it on the internet. Here: www.watchbeaterkickkidswhileyoujerkoff.com.

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 10:20 AM

654842129.



From me to you, mother-Frosters.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 10:23 AM

I can not click you enough for that kicking kids one Beater.

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 10:34 AM

You see, I link my site, and the Frost-ing feds find it. mother-Frosters. Now all you'll get is a "Page Cannot Be Displayed" Frost-ing government.

Mr Fook 4,001 8
06/13/2006 12:33 PM

It is July 20th 2004, I'm going to kill myself in three days. The world will know about me then.





'nuf said.

Stone Cold Bikini 59,865 11
06/13/2006 12:52 PM

I anally pleasure myself with spoons.



...spoons???



It's better than a fork.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 799 5
06/13/2006 01:23 PM

I had sex with my ex in hopes of getting pregnant so we could get back together.. I still kinda wish we were together because he would have bought me an iPod

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 799 5
06/13/2006 01:24 PM

i told a girl i loved her just so she'd get my name tatooed on her lower back. i showed her "mine", which was done with a sharpie pen, and guilted her into getting it done. i even made her pay for it...I have genital warts and a really hairy back...Ihate puppies

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 799 5
06/13/2006 01:25 PM

the reason i was gone so long during forth period today wasn't becaue the nearest bathroom was locked and i had to go tothe further one, it was because i was fingering my anus in the stall while i Frosted giant wad of wet toilet paper.

When Midgets attack 56,253 18
06/13/2006 01:37 PM

My only real goal in life is to have sex with as many different people as I can. This includes, midgets, the retarded, and the socially awkward. If they've got big dicks, I'll do them at least twice.









YEEESSSS!!!! There is hope for all of us!

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 02:11 PM

im secretly in love with a girl at work who is a virgin and shy about being with me, i have also been in a relationship for over a year with another girl who is getting fatter and fatter, thats not really that important, but she moans all the time, is jealous of my computer and has a horrible laugh, sometimes i wish i was dead so i don't have to bother speaking to anyone ever.



im scared of confrontations and conversations with people i know and people i don't know, the people i kinda know are ok tho. go figure.



i also get off by dressing up as a tarty woman and wanking. when i come i feel bad. until i start again,



i have also lost 2 stone in three weeks cos im not eating

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 02:13 PM

when i was 13 there was this color blind kid in my art class called joey



we had art and he had been drawing this picture for 5 weeks it really was a masterpiece



anyway he had this pot of crayons that had labels on with the name of the color



when he wasnt looking i switched the labels and he started coloring everthing in different colors (he colored the sky purple)



he went to show the teacher who told him it was all the wrong colors and he started crying really loud



i felt sick at the time but of course i dont care any more i am 17

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 02:14 PM

YEEESSSS!!!! There is hope for all of us!



They only said if they had a big dick so that aleady takes you off the list

Ninja, Robot, Pirate, Snork 45,010 9
06/13/2006 02:37 PM

"A part of me finds this site wholly, totally depressing.



The other, much larger part, just laughs and laughs and laughs."



-Snork.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,614 9
06/13/2006 02:46 PM

I have been having sexual thoughts about an my indian friend who has been staying over, I picture him in a loin cloth...



Hmm. I suppose that's not too bad, but then he had to add...



...when I see him laying there,sleeping, I want to slap his forehead with my dick

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 799 5
06/13/2006 02:46 PM

(This ones for Daggy and her sick cat)



"i tied a long string to one of my cat's teeth and put the rest of the string into his pet food. The next day i noticed the string coming out both ends.



I felt bad about this and the fact that i played with the string pulling it back and forward"

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,614 9
06/13/2006 02:48 PM

I confess that I sometimes get a sexual thrill out of picking my nose. I've never told anyone this. Ever





And you never should dude. Anonymous or not, there are some things better left unsaid.

Ninja, Robot, Pirate, Snork 45,010 9
06/13/2006 02:50 PM

I consider myself to be a pretty decent human being. I have done some things in my life that are pretty Frosted up, but those were all in the past and aren't causing any more trouble in my life. I just do not understand why I can't have a boyfriend. I mean, I am not picky, I am not ugly, I don't lie/cheat/steal, I am a good person. All I want is a boyfriend that treats me nice, they don't have to buy me nice things or take me to fancy resturants or anything like that. Just someone that I can sit at home with and talk about comic books with and watch Adult Swim. Oh well, that what I get.

Jade - that's just who I am this week 14,259 6
06/13/2006 02:52 PM

i have a pet lightbulb named sparky





Okay, someone get that dude a puppy. Or a goldfish. Heck, give him a goldfish cracker.

AmazingBeauty 244 5
06/13/2006 02:56 PM

I wish I looked like Shania Twain. Seriously. She's just so damn pretty.

I'm about 5'1", and I like my height. It suits me; I'd like it even more if I had a better body. Don't get me wrong, I look alright...thing is, I did gymnastics for 13 years. I've got a nice ass and nice legs, but my shoulders are (in my opinion) too big. So are my arms. I'm a 36C, so I'm fine with that too...and I mean, after 13 years of gymnastics, you'd think that I'd have some kind of abs, right? I don't, not really; it's just mush. I don't have a belly or anything, it's pretty damn near flat...but still.

Man, I'm not usually like this, but I saw her in her "forever and for always" video today, and she just looked so damn good.

She's about 5'4"-ish, she's got brown hair (like me) and the same coloured eyes as me...funny how a few little tweaks can make someone look like her, and someone else look like me.

Just a thought...

18/f/canada



Wow..I think it is pretty sad this poor canadian girl is fishing around for compliments on an ANONYMOUS site. what a dumb bitch.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,614 9
06/13/2006 02:57 PM

I like to stick corn in my pants. I don't know when this started or why, but maybe it is because I am in that age group where people start doing things like that. I find corn to be hot, but only if it has just been cooked.





Exactly what age group is that? I'm thinking it might be something to look foward to.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,614 9
06/13/2006 03:00 PM

i once had an orgasm in a chicken's ear





Aaaannnnnd this person is my hero.

Aimless grows vagantalopes 54,614 9
06/13/2006 03:02 PM

Everytime I think about suicide I try to think of how kids in Africa have it worse than me.



But sometimes, I frankly don't give a Shakespeare about them.





This is my new favorite web site.

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 03:06 PM

i have been on grouphug.us for the past 16 hours and 46 minutes now and i skipped school and a date with my girlfriend to keep reading. i have no life



Okay which one of you posted that message?

Filly 29,704 12
06/13/2006 04:07 PM

I think that people who have sex with peanut butter are Frost-ing nuts.



Heh.



I talk about how, when I grow up, I'm going to live in a cardboard box and be a hobo.



Pubah?

Beater 10,696 6
06/13/2006 04:45 PM

354264684 i drink piss, Frost handfulls of my own Shakespeare and enjoy bestiality



I want to meet this guy. I think we'd get along. We already have so much in common.

When Midgets attack 56,253 18
06/13/2006 04:53 PM

when i was young we used to have chickens in out back yard. i once Frosted a chicken and it was found dead the next morning. my parents found the dead chciken and realized it was Frosted. they blamed my brother and kicked him out... my brother is still homeless...



the worst part is when they put the dead chciken in the traShakespeareook it form there again and Frosted it again...











So Chickens IS dead?

High Priestess, Now with real Maple Flava! 49,925 13
06/13/2006 04:56 PM

941504004 am a girl am scared...some white stuff is coming out my vagina...am 21



BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 06:09 PM

I'd bet entertainment.



When taking a Shakespeare, I like to catch it as it comes out with a square of toilet tissue, then play with it in my tissue-covered fingers: checking the texture and odour. I haven't decided whether I do this for medical reasons or sheer entertainment.

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 06:11 PM

my nieghbors, four girls, went out of town for a week on spring break and left me the key to feed their fish. I stole a pair of panties from each of their rooms and used them to jerk off with. One of them had a Shakespeare stain on it.



I still have them 2 years later.

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 06:34 PM

Seriously, I could look at that site for hours.





My Poe once had crabs so i brushed it with my roommates toothbrush

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 06:38 PM

masturbate to the thought of George W. Bush and John Kerry in bed.



I have to wonder if that's really a bad thing





Hahaha

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 06:40 PM

Dude, are you just waiting for me to bump this thread before you post something else in it or what? Because I'm starting to think that's what you're doing.

Lord of Flames 58 7
06/13/2006 06:42 PM

No, I'm just trying to piss you off. Is it working?

When Midgets attack 56,253 18
06/13/2006 06:44 PM

Ahhhh cuuute,



Slinkeys got a stalker.

Slinkeys got a stalker.

Slinkeys got a stalker.

pendy 987 6
06/13/2006 07:09 PM

i was house sitting for my nieghbors and the cat would not shut up so i threw it into the cieling fan







Had any house sitters lately, Daggy?

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/13/2006 07:13 PM

No, I'm just trying to piss you off. Is it working?



How is bumping my own thread going to piss me off? I just love the attention.

THESTALKER the nOOb that posteth too much. 742 0
06/14/2006 06:29 AM

I Frost-ing hate group hug they didn't post my thread & It was good.

there I have said it.

Oh and I am begining to fall in love with Mr.Slinky!!!!

Gorks on a Plane 41,056 11
06/14/2006 08:10 AM

when i was around the age of thirteen maybe twelve, i used to masterbait constantly and wouldnt be able to control it. I remember on a weekend, i was at a friends house and we were playing hide and go seek. He had this britney spears poster on his wall and i lost all control. i slammed the door and went off. My sperm fell to his floor and i rubbed it in with an old t-shirt. And another really embarrasing uncontrolable masturbaiting session was in the back seat of my suv with my sisters in the row in front and my step mom driving. i knew my sisters didnt know but i think my stepmom did. we were on a rode trip to see family then. I was such a disgusting boy. sigh.



YES!



I've been published!

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/14/2006 08:14 AM

Was that you seriously? I came across that one and debated on posting that here just becuase it made me laugh. Please tell me that was you.

Crypto- A master in the ancient art of N00b 799 5
06/14/2006 08:15 AM

"I put my penis in hot dog buns and put ketchup on it and take pictures of it to get my wife aroused"





Tell me americans aren't obsessed with food.....I dare ya!

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/14/2006 08:20 AM

Yeah, it's official. I have my first internet stalker.

(un)Lucky Luke 687 5
06/14/2006 08:46 AM

Everytime I think about suicide I try to think of how kids in Africa have it worse than me.



But sometimes, I frankly don't give a excrement about them.





This is my new favorite web site.





Hey I live in Africa and many of my friends are starving, when I sleep over at their houses we have to share a slice of toast and take turns brushing flies of the grand'ma.......

Mr. Slinky 28,126 8
06/14/2006 08:50 AM

HAHA, all your friends are black.

(un)Lucky Luke 687 5
06/14/2006 08:58 AM

HAHA, all your friends are black.



Aren't yours?

(un)Lucky Luke 687 5
06/14/2006 08:59 AM

B.T.W. there are starving white kids too, they just don't look good on TV....

THESTALKER the nOOb that posteth too much. 742 0
06/14/2006 05:05 PM

Once when I was taking a shower, my nose started bleeding for some reason. There was a lot of blood, and it dripped all over me and I rubbed it on me. I loved it how I looked, covered in blood. Then I heard as the doorbell rang. I checked who was coming from the door-eye, and saw it was some old granny who I didn't know. I opened the door and looked as frightening as I could. I was butt naked and covered in blood. She passed out and hit her head. I just called the ambulance and forgot about it. I still don't know what happened to her, in fact, I don't want to know. She might be dead. Not mine but I laff

THESTALKER the nOOb that posteth too much. 742 0
06/14/2006 05:07 PM

And I really hope it actually happend.

Evil Wee Taco 59,521 30
06/14/2006 05:24 PM

Two GABesque confessions:

"I've given up smoking and just want to cry a lot "



"1 day i was bored n i was staring at my cat n got aroused, so i slipped on a johhny n calmly took my cat in the house, i then lubricated her bumole n inserted my v large penis until i came.....i am ashamed "



I like this game.

Evil Wee Taco 59,521 30
06/14/2006 05:28 PM

I like this one:



"I'm a married 37-year-old man with a gorgeous wife and two great children. But I want to be sexually dominated by my son's 11-year-old friend. He just has very broad shoulders and a great overall physical build, and is extremely handsome. I melt whenever I see him."





Then he adds:



It's not like I'm a pervert, I'm an assistant state prosecutor in Scranton. "



To this I add:



"When I was changing at the Y after my workout, there were a couple of young black kids there, maybe only 8 or 9 years old, getting dressed after swimming. But one of the kids had a gigantic shlong he was just kind of waving around while standing on the bench. It made me extremely embarrassed, since we was much larger than myself, and I'm 39 years old.



But later I got incredibly aroused thinking about that little black kid being erect and inside me, but I don't know how to ask my wife to put on a strap-on, especially a black one.



Also, I'm a lead detective with the Scranton drug enforcement task force."



What the Frost is up with Scranton?!

SAVIORA, Lord of the Knives 4,573 6
06/14/2006 06:06 PM

I gave my dog oral sex



...

......

............







































I've got nothing.

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,126 8
09/22/2006 11:54 AM

After glancing at that site today, I think we can pick this little game back up.





"one time i tried to overdose myself with over 30 pills. i waited. nothing happened, cept i threw up and shaved off my eyebrows."

Mr. Slinky - Already at the bottom of the stairs 28,126 8
09/22/2006 11:57 AM

Undies in about a year.



"I have my bags packed and my children ready to go. I live in a house with an abusive man. When I dated him, he was fine. He only got jealous sometimes, which I took as a good sign. However, once we got married, he started to become very controlling. I am not allowed to leave the house. He video tapes the doors and windows. I was able to hook up the phone line from this computer to my telephone so I could call my mother and let her know about this. I have never told her that my husband abuses me and I can not leave the house. He hits me in front of our three children, ages 8, 6, and 3. I can not take this any more. I want them out of danger. I am confessing that I saw a show on Oprah about a woman who was in the same situation as me, except the doors and windows were all locked and she physically could not leave. My mother called the police, they will be here in a few minutes to escort my children and me out of this house. I just wanted to say goodbye to something here, and since he is at work, I will say it here. He probably has a keystroke recorder on this computer, so he will be able to read all of this.

I loved you Dan, and you made my life hell. I am finally strong enough to Leave you, and I am. The next time i see you will be in court, and then you will go to jail. The children deserve a better life than this, I deserve a better life than this.



Goodbye Dan,

-Judy

The Jerk 6,257 6
09/22/2006 12:31 PM

Trae?



ive been a tomboy all my life, and dont really know how to act like a girl. i cant flirt, and usually end up just foolin around with the guys...

it's really annoying, because i really want a relationship...and dont know how to get one...



blah.

Slinky 28,126 8
12/12/2007 09:19 PM

I got bored and thought about this on the way into work today. I wasn't going to bump this thread but I've been just reading some of the messed up ones and didn't burst out laughing until this one.



I am ugly, I am overweight, I am 18, and I have acne. I am never going to get a boyfriend. I had my first kiss last night from a guy... but he's gay. Go. Me.

Fa ra ra ra Robin® 14,584 8
12/12/2007 10:00 PM

,i>I helped an older gentleman at my apartment complex carry his groceries upstairs. I refused the tip he offered. He then offered me money in return for sexual favors. I told myself I would only do it once, but today was the third time. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever stop.

Everyone has their price.