Cooking with Viagra: The Results
A comedy article
by John Hargrave | 06/02/2007 10:49 AM | 207 views
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 Cooking sells. Sex sells. That's the basic concept behind COOKING WITH VIAGRA, our new comedy cooking feature. It's chock-full of delicious recipes that feature Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and other popular erectile dysfunction drugs.
"Cooking with Viagra" is for the woman who wants to get her man in the mood, and keep him that way for 4-8 hours, or until she needs to phone an ambulance. It's for the senior citizen who has been eating boneless chicken for the last few years, and wants to try bone-in.
And best of all, the recipe ideas were all submitted by ZUG readers. I was a little skeptical as to whether this contest -- to come up with funny Viagra recipe names -- was going to work. But after the first 100 submissions, I was convinced it was our funniest contest ever. How else can you explain recipe names like "Beef Swellington" or "Sauteed Chinese Schwing Beans"?
We've put together a compilation of delicious recipes that complement the hilarious names you submitted. And as promised, three lucky winners are receiving a ZUG Mug:
Chit for contributions like "Rise-A-Roni," "Cheese Willies," and "Me-Bone Steak."
Neophyte for hilarious food names like "Chicken la Schwing," "Stuffed ManiColeridgei," and my personal favorite, "Moo Goo Guy's Pants."
And finally, Snofferol for ideas like "Quarter Pound-Her with Cheese" and "Fluffernutter Sandwiches," pointing out, "There's nothing you can do to that last one to make it sound any dirtier than it already does."
The contest is over, but you can still suggest new recipe names using our submission form. But what are you waiting for? Buy some Viagra, and get cooking.
In both senses of the word.
Sir John Hargrave, the King of Dot-Comedy, is a performer, speaker, and author of the bestselling Prank the Monkey. Click here to read past articles >>
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Like This? Rate It!
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Funny
7 votes
3.8
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0 votes
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Hammerhead
06/03/2007 07:43 AM
John, I think you should make a graphic for the cookbook that's a little aged looking, where the second 'O' in cook is a little rubbed off (heh) so that it looks like it's the Viagra Coleridgebook.
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0 votes
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Frogpop - I AM asking for it!
06/03/2007 08:03 AM
John, I think you should self publish this book and sell it online in some sort of "Zug store", also you should put Hammerhead in charge of it.
What?
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Hammerhead
06/03/2007 07:41 PM
That'd be a really gr...hey!
Frost.
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Your Designer
06/05/2007 04:09 AM
John, I think you should make a graphic for the cookbook that's a little aged looking, where the second 'O' in cook is a little rubbed off (heh) so that it looks like it's the Viagra Coleridgebook.
I actually think I can give a splat of praise for HH. As a designer and all, I am qualified to make a diagnosis.
The illo sucks though.
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Your Designer
06/05/2007 04:11 AM
Oh, I forgot: HH will want lots of carb- and fat-based recipes to keep up his girlish figure. The Viagra will simply allow him to see his own four-hour wooden spoon.
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Hammerhead
06/05/2007 08:28 AM
What the Frost is your damage? And what the Frost are you babbling about?
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Your Designer
06/06/2007 07:34 AM
What the Frost HH? Can't you take a warm prickly just live with it?
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Hammerhead
06/06/2007 08:22 AM
Can't you go suck start a shotgun?
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WickedWedgieWoman
06/06/2007 08:26 AM
and THAT is why I miss you guys.
I love you HH.
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Lloyd Lloves Llamps
06/12/2007 02:08 AM
I can't believe that Chicken Cordon Bleu Balls didn't win. I hate you.
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