
Step 1. First I bought matching Ken and Barbie dolls from KB Toys. "KB," incidentally, is what I call the celebrity power couple of Ken and Barbie, only I spell it "Kay-Bee."

Step 2. Next, I disrobed the young lovers. Observing their lack of anatomy, I wondered: how do they pee?

Step 3. Ken's fingers are all glued together, rendering him incapable of fine motor tasks such as typing, or playing the zither. So I cut off his little finger to use as a makeshift penis.

Step 4. I cut a bit of hair from the back of Ken's head and glued it to his pubic region: a hair transplant, in reverse.

Step 5. Using a wad of Play-Doh, I fashioned a small scrotal sac. If his man-satchel seems a bit darker than the rest of his body, that's because he had a scrotum transplant. G.I. Joe generously donated his ballsling to Ken, just before dying in an epic battle with Cobra Commander.

Step 6. The fingerpenis wouldn't stand up straight, but that just added to the anatomical correctness.
"How's it hanging, Ken?" "Oh, a little to the right."

Step 7. Moving on to Barbie, I was faced with the challenge of what size drill bit to use for the most realistic vagina and anus. I went with a 1/8" bit for the cooter, and a 1/16" for the pooper.

Step 8. In order to make Barbie truly anatomically correct, I felt one nipple should be slightly higher than the other. Hey, nobody's perfect, even the elegant everygirl who's everywhere: Barbie(R)!

Step 9. For Barbie's body hair, I experimented with using her long, silky mane, but it was too golden and luxurious. So I took more plugs from Ken's head and affixed them to Barbie's crotch and armpits. Anatomically correct, in my book, means no shaving.

Step 10. Finally, I snipped a few of her golden strands, gluing them back as fine, unshaven leg hair.

So there you have it: Kay-Bee, anatomically correct at last.
If you ask me, it was pretty successful plastic surgery.
