In the end, the total damage was less than we thought, and never have I been so elated to spend "only" $500. With the rental fee, pizzas, travel, and phone bills, the total cost of my birthday surprise was just about $1000, which makes this the most expensive ZUG prank ever.

"You know what?" I said to Jade once the dust had cleared, "even with the damage, this was a great birthday present."

"Why is that?" she asked.

"Because I can now tell people that I once wrecked a Porsche. Do you have any idea how cool that is?"

She looked at me as if I had just announced I was pregnant. "You are so strange."

It's true, I may be a weirdo. But I'm a weirdo with a really good story, and it only costed me a thousand bucks.