Many women are unhappy with their breasts. Some elect to undergo breast enhancement surgery, which is both costly and dangerous. See the following diagram for an example of how breast implants can go tragically wrong:
That's why discriminating women use breast enhancement supplements, like our three volunteers. Here's our Day 1 check-in:
Name: Christy
Cup size: A
Name: Jennifer
Cup size: B
Name: Erin
Cup size: C
Name: John
Cup size: D (for "Dude")
We chose the "Breast Gain Plus" supplements, because they guaranteed "Y0u can Have larger, roun.der, and f i r m e r breasts in as little as 3o days!" Breast Gain was also "Rated No.1 Breast Enlargement Pill on the Market!!!!111!!" although they didn't say by whom.
I hope it wasn't Calista Flockhart doing the rating. That chick is a carpenter's dream.
I would say most people that I interviewed for this stunt were "hopefully skeptical," like, "Well, they probably don't work, but I'd like to try them, just in case." And in fact, my penis enlargement experiment showed that sometimes these herbal supplements do seem to work.
Still, everyone's first impression was the same: these pills taste like ass. Each of the women agreed with me that the tablets tasted like curry stewed in old socks, except for Christy, who said, "The pills taste like sugary death."
They look like green vitamins -- but unlike vitamins, you burp up this nasty-ass rank for the next five minutes. Or worse. Jennifer said she was "a little stomach sick," while Erin complained of "slight stomach discomfort for the next hour or so." Whatever. This was going to be a small price to pay for our beautiful, bounteous bosoms.
Now, there was nothing left for us girls to do but sit back and grow some boobs.
