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| by John Hargrave |
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Evildoer #2: VoiceStream Wireless
CellBoy: WHERE IS JAMIE LEE CURTIS?!
Store manager: Sir, you're going to have to quiet down.
CellBoy: I DEMAND TO SEE JAMIE LEE CURTIS! WHAT IS SHE DOING TALKING ON HER CELLPHONE WHILE SKATING?
Store manager: Please lower your voice.
CellBoy: I cannot lower my voice, because I am ANGRY! Look at that advertisement up there! LOOK AT IT!
Store manager: Can I help you?
CellBoy: Are you implying that it is OK to ride a skateboard with no hands while talking on a cellular phone?
Store manager: It's about freedom. It's not about talking, it's about freedom.
CellBoy: The freedom to break one's neck!?
Store manager: Do you ... ah, do you have a question?
CellBoy: I have several. Such as, why are you picturing a woman talking on her cellphone as she drives her children to work?
Store manager: Many people think the benefits...
CellBoy: Why would she risk the lives of those children in her backseat? Why would she endanger that precious cargo?
Store manager: ...the benefits of using a cellphone are ...
CellBoy: And that one, with a man standing near a cab! What's next? An ad featuring cellphones being used in a high-speed car chase?
Store manager: If you'll let me talk...
CellBoy: Astronauts talking during a Space Shuttle launch? Brain surgeons taking a quick call in the middle of a procedure?
Store manager: [Pauses] Are you done?
CellBoy: No. NOT UNTIL YOU FIND ME JAMIE LEE CURTIS!
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