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| by John Hargrave |
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Evildoer #2: VoiceStream Wireless
One of the most offensive advertisers is VoiceStream Wireless, which has the above photograph of a man riding a skateboard with no hands, as well as people talking on their cellphone in cabs, while driving the kids to work, etc. The company's spokesperson, Jamie Lee Curtis, appears in a radio ad where she talks about always being "on the go," and using her cellphone while roller skating. CellBoy decided to enter this store in a dramatic fashion. CellBoy: WHERE IS JAMIE LEE CURTIS?! Store manager: Sir, you're going to have to quiet down. CellBoy: I DEMAND TO SEE JAMIE LEE CURTIS! WHAT IS SHE DOING TALKING ON HER CELLPHONE WHILE SKATING? Store manager: Please lower your voice. CellBoy: I cannot lower my voice, because I am ANGRY! Look at that advertisement up there! LOOK AT IT! Store manager: Can I help you? CellBoy: Are you implying that it is OK to ride a skateboard with no hands while talking on a cellular phone? Store manager: It's about freedom. It's not about talking, it's about freedom. CellBoy: The freedom to break one's neck!? Store manager: Do you ... ah, do you have a question? CellBoy: I have several. Such as, why are you picturing a woman talking on her cellphone as she drives her children to work? Store manager: Many people think the benefits... CellBoy: Why would she risk the lives of those children in her backseat? Why would she endanger that precious cargo? Store manager: ...the benefits of using a cellphone are ... CellBoy: And that one, with a man standing near a cab! What's next? An ad featuring cellphones being used in a high-speed car chase? Store manager: If you'll let me talk... CellBoy: Astronauts talking during a Space Shuttle launch? Brain surgeons taking a quick call in the middle of a procedure? Store manager: [Pauses] Are you done? CellBoy: No. NOT UNTIL YOU FIND ME JAMIE LEE CURTIS! |