Did CellBoy really improve the situation? I think so. I mean, he was at least as effective as as the War on Drugs.

When I set out to become a superhero, I thought the only requirement was that you had to look reasonably good in tights. Sadly, I failed even that. Let's just be thankful I had a cape to hide my ass.

I didn't realize that I needed superpowers, or the ability to fly. I didn't know you had to be a crazy freak bitten by a radioactive spider. I thought it was enough just to be a crazy freak.

What I learned is that the quest for cellphone safety must never stop. Since the cellphone companies aren't going to help us out, we must take up the responsiblity ourselves, being ever-vigilant for the sake of ourselves and our fellow motorists. I for one will not rest, ever, ever.

Or at least until next Saturday. That's when the rental place wants their costume back.