Browsing through the FAO Schwarz holiday catalog, I found this birthday package called the FAO Schwarz Sleepover, where they let you rent out their store for a night. As far as I can tell, this is like Chuck E. Cheese for the wealthy. The catalog says the sleepover package starts at $25,000, but where does it end? That's what I tried to figure out in the following prank call.I called the Las Vegas store and spoke with an extremely helpful woman who did not want to say no to me, especially since I was posing as an eccentric billionaire. Read on.
FAO SCHWARZ: Hi, this is Rhonda, can I help you?
JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi, Rhonda. I'd like to inquire about the FAO Schwarz Sleepover, item #844432.
FAO: Sure. What can I help you with?
JH: This sounds delightful for my Princess. She's going to be six on April 1. We're taking her and a dozen friends to Vegas to see Cirque du Soleil, and this would be a perfect way to end the day.
FAO: Great.
JH: It says, "Starting at $25,000." Are there optional add-ons, then?
FAO: Just anything that's not included in the party cost, like extra purchases. For instance, you can buy life-like baby dolls for each of the girls. They're $80 each.
JH: Definitely add those. What else could we add?
FAO: Let me see here. It looks like everything else is included: dance piano lessons, rides on the motion simulator, ice cream parlor, games and activities, pizza...
JH: What toppings are included on the pizza?
FAO: Whatever you want. We don't make it here, so we'd order out the pizza from wherever. Domino's or something.
JH: Domino's?
FAO: Or whatever the birthday girl wants.
JH: For $25,000, I think we can do a little better than Domino's.
FAO: From anywhere, we could order from anywhere.
JH: I'm thinking Spago.
FAO: OK, sure.
JH: They've got one right there in Caesar's Palace.
FAO: Yeah.
JH: Will there be face-painters?
FAO: I could probably find somebody, sure.
JH: I don't know if you've heard of the American artist, Whistler McManus, but he's got an exhibition at the Bellagio art gallery in January. He's a friend of the family, and we're thinking of hiring him to do some face-painting.
FAO: Oh, you could do that. Sure.
JH: He'll probably use oils on the girls' tender faces. He is masterful with blending colors.
FAO: Sure, that's not a problem.
JH: Are parents required?
FAO: Ah ... no, not unless you want them to be.
JH: No, I mean me and my wife.
FAO: Oh. Well...
JH: Because my wife and I would really love to go do some gaming while you guys watch the kids, maybe catch one of those bargain buffets.
FAO: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
JH: I mean, shrimp for $1.99? I don't know how they can do that and stay in business.
FAO: Sure. No, you're not required, as long as the kids are comfortable with sleepovers. You could always leave a phone number or something.
JH: Do you allow animals into the store?
FAO: Not normally. Why, do you have a dog or something that's coming with?
JH: My wife had this creative idea to play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, but maybe we could use a live donkey.
FAO: That's interesting. I don't know about that one.
JH: We wouldn't use a real pin, of course.
FAO: Obviously.
JH: It would be Velcro, or duct tape or something.
FAO: Yeah.
JH: We'd take care of all the shipping of the donkey, of course. I could bring someone in to handle the cleanup, if you guys can't handle that.
FAO: Sure. I can check on that for you. If you're willing to handle the cleanup and all that stuff, we can look into that.
JH: Hey, I don't know if you know country music star Trisha Yearwood?
FAO: Yes.
JH: She's offered to come and play the girls a few songs. Do you have a sound system she can play through?
FAO: That's something I could check into. If it's only the twelve kids, she might not need a sound system.
JH: Well, she's going to have the band with her.
FAO: Oh yeah, OK. So she's going to need some electricity.
JH: Right. The stage lighting and everything really sucks up the juice.
FAO: Sure.
JH: I'm getting the roadies in at 6 to do a sound check, will that be a problem?
FAO: 6:00 on a Saturday? Yeah, that probably would be a problem. I'd have to check into all that. We might have to close the store early. I can look into that.
JH: OK. Now, the last thing is the cake. Can we bring our own?
FAO: Oh, sure. That would be no problem.
JH: Because I think we'd like to hire some kind of male dancer to jump out of the cake.
FAO: Oh, OK. OK.
JH: I don't think that would be a problem, because it would be later in the night. And he wouldn't actually be nude, of course, because they're just kids. He'd have on, like, a thong or something.
FAO: [Pause] She's six, right?
JH: Well, this part is more for my wife, actually.
FAO: Okay.
JH: So. They come in at 9:00 pm, we've got the live donkey, we've got Trisha Yearwood, we've got the face painting, the ice cream parlor, the dance piano, the pizza, and the male dancer. That sounds like a birthday to remember.
FAO: I think she'll remember it forever and ever.
JH: Well, for $25 grand, she better.
FAO: [Laughs]
JH: Thanks for all your help, Rhonda. I'll let you know.
FAO: Sure. Thanks for calling FAO Schwarz.
Incidentally, I just called Toys R Us. Apparently they'll let a bunch of kids hang out in their store overnight for a measly $800. Of course, you have to pay it directly to the security guard, and he might not be able to turn on the lights. But hey, you get what you pay for.
