Browsing through the FAO Schwarz holiday catalog, I found this birthday package called the FAO Schwarz Sleepover, where they let you rent out their store for a night. As far as I can tell, this is like Chuck E. Cheese for the wealthy. The catalog says the sleepover package starts at $25,000, but where does it end? That's what I tried to figure out in the following prank call.
I called the Las Vegas store and spoke with an extremely helpful woman who did not want to say no to me, especially since I was posing as an eccentric billionaire. Read on.
FAO SCHWARZ: Hi, this is Rhonda, can I help you?
JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi, Rhonda. I'd like to inquire about the FAO Schwarz Sleepover, item #844432.
FAO: Sure. What can I help you with?
JH: This sounds delightful for my Princess. She's going to be six on April 1. We're taking her and a dozen friends to Vegas to see Cirque du Soleil, and this would be a perfect way to end the day.
FAO: Great.
JH: It says, "Starting at $25,000." Are there optional add-ons, then?
FAO: Just anything that's not included in the party cost, like extra purchases. For instance, you can buy life-like baby dolls for each of the girls. They're $80 each.
JH: Definitely add those. What else could we add?
FAO: Let me see here. It looks like everything else is included: dance piano lessons, rides on the motion simulator, ice cream parlor, games and activities, pizza...
JH: What toppings are included on the pizza?
FAO: Whatever you want. We don't make it here, so we'd order out the pizza from wherever. Domino's or something.
JH: Domino's?
FAO: Or whatever the birthday girl wants.
JH: For $25,000, I think we can do a little better than Domino's.
FAO: From anywhere, we could order from anywhere.
JH: I'm thinking Spago.
FAO: OK, sure.
JH: They've got one right there in Caesar's Palace.
FAO: Yeah.
JH: Will there be face-painters?
FAO: I could probably find somebody, sure.
JH: I don't know if you've heard of the American artist, Whistler McManus, but he's got an exhibition at the Bellagio art gallery in January. He's a friend of the family, and we're thinking of hiring him to do some face-painting.
FAO: Oh, you could do that. Sure.
JH: He'll probably use oils on the girls' tender faces. He is masterful with blending colors.
FAO: Sure, that's not a problem.
JH: Are parents required?
FAO: Ah ... no, not unless you want them to be.
JH: No, I mean me and my wife.
FAO: Oh. Well...
JH: Because my wife and I would really love to go do some gaming while you guys watch the kids, maybe catch one of those bargain buffets.
FAO: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
JH: I mean, shrimp for $1.99? I don't know how they can do that and stay in business.
FAO: Sure. No, you're not required, as long as the kids are comfortable with sleepovers. You could always leave a phone number or something.
JH: Do you allow animals into the store?
FAO: Not normally. Why, do you have a dog or something that's coming with?
JH: My wife had this creative idea to play pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, but maybe we could use a live donkey.
FAO: That's interesting. I don't know about that one.
JH: We wouldn't use a real pin, of course.
FAO: Obviously.
JH: It would be Velcro, or duct tape or something.
FAO: Yeah.
JH: We'd take care of all the shipping of the donkey, of course. I could bring someone in to handle the cleanup, if you guys can't handle that.
FAO: Sure. I can check on that for you. If you're willing to handle the cleanup and all that stuff, we can look into that.
JH: Hey, I don't know if you know country music star Trisha Yearwood?
FAO: Yes.
JH: She's offered to come and play the girls a few songs. Do you have a sound system she can play through?
FAO: That's something I could check into. If it's only the twelve kids, she might not need a sound system.
JH: Well, she's going to have the band with her.
FAO: Oh yeah, OK. So she's going to need some electricity.
JH: Right. The stage lighting and everything really sucks up the juice.
FAO: Sure.
JH: I'm getting the roadies in at 6 to do a sound check, will that be a problem?
FAO: 6:00 on a Saturday? Yeah, that probably would be a problem. I'd have to check into all that. We might have to close the store early. I can look into that.
JH: OK. Now, the last thing is the cake. Can we bring our own?
FAO: Oh, sure. That would be no problem.
JH: Because I think we'd like to hire some kind of male dancer to jump out of the cake.
FAO: Oh, OK. OK.
JH: I don't think that would be a problem, because it would be later in the night. And he wouldn't actually be nude, of course, because they're just kids. He'd have on, like, a thong or something.
FAO: [Pause] She's six, right?
JH: Well, this part is more for my wife, actually.
FAO: Okay.
JH: So. They come in at 9:00 pm, we've got the live donkey, we've got Trisha Yearwood, we've got the face painting, the ice cream parlor, the dance piano, the pizza, and the male dancer. That sounds like a birthday to remember.
FAO: I think she'll remember it forever and ever.
JH: Well, for $25 grand, she better.
FAO: [Laughs]
JH: Thanks for all your help, Rhonda. I'll let you know.
FAO: Sure. Thanks for calling FAO Schwarz.
Incidentally, I just called Toys R Us. Apparently they'll let a bunch of kids hang out in their store overnight for a measly $800. Of course, you have to pay it directly to the security guard, and he might not be able to turn on the lights. But hey, you get what you pay for.