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We felt we needed a men's issue to counter the women's issue, so we picked the popular topic of erectile dysfunction, since everyone knows that liberals are not just limp in the wrist.    One middle-aged gentleman -- straight out of a Cialis commercial -- came over to our booth, dropped a dollar in the cash box, and said softly, "I don't want a pie, I just want to support you."  There were a few women who supported the cause, not realizing the embarrassment they were causing their boyfriends.  The highlight of this hour was a blind woman who came up to the booth and asked if she could throw a pie. I don't think she had any idea what cause she was supporting, but when are you going to have another chance to have a blind woman throw a pie in your face? Never, that's when.  She didn't need much help with the aim. The sweetest moment was a small girl who watched our fundraiser for nearly an hour, then came back and put some change on the table, including a few Peruvian pennies. We thought that deserved a pie. "Ironically," whispered Mike, "One day her husband will suffer from erectile dysfunction, and this donation will support her marriage." Still, it was hard to erect much support for this fundraiser. The competition was stiff, and our results were a bit floppy: ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION FUNDRAISER RESULTS Money earned from liberals: $54.56 + two Peruvian coins Pies thrown by liberals: 18 + a few droplets of cream Signatures collected from liberals: 1 We knew our final fundraiser wouldn't be nearly so droopy: our campaign to rid the airwaves of conservative pundit Bill O'Reilly. | ||||||||||||||||||
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