"Playmates' Toys" was a line of infant toys which were popular on the Web in the mid-90's. I'm sure I wasn't the first to make this joke; perhaps that's why they didn't respond.

Subj: Thank you!
Date: 95-12-14 13:51:13 EST
From: Baked Ham
To: toys@playmatestoys.com
CC: Baked Ham

I have to thank you for your official line of Playmates' toys. My wife and I have used them for over nine years and not once have we been disappointed.

Before Playmates' Toys came into our lives, our lovemaking was a mite stale. Now we've discovered new realms of freedom and self-expression. My wife especially enjoys the "Jenny McCarthy Special," and I've regained the endurance of a teenager with the "Hugh Hefner Pump."

Thanks again, Playmates' Toys.

Sincerely,
(name and address held by request)