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| Buckethead |
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Many companies, caught up in the Internet hype, have set up e-mail addresses for customer comments. Some months ago, I was bitterly angry and subsisting mostly on microwavable dinners. One day as I sat eating a tiny container of soapy, inadequately-heated soup, I looked at the name: DINNER BUCKET. Turning the label a bit more, I discovered that I could contact the company via e-mail. Furious, I banged out the following diatribe. To: (For legal reasons, we have removed this e-mail address)
To Whom It May Concern:
While consuming your "Dinner Bucket Country Vegetable Soup" several days ago, the thought suddenly occurred to me that it wasn't a "bucket" at all. In fact, by no stretch of the imagination could an 8.25 ounce cupful of soup be properly labelled a "bucket."
When I was a child, I worked on a farm with my violent alcoholic father who would awaken me at 4 am and angrily demand that I "get the bucket and go milk the cow." Had your product existed then, and had I put my 8.25 ounce "Dinner Bucket" container under the cow's udder, why, the milk drained from that teat would have overflowed and spilled upon the ground. I would have received a good beating.
With this in mind, I would like you to consider some of the following product names, which I feel are more realistic: Dinner Thimble, Mouthful O' Dinner, Half-A-Dinner-Ladle. I feel this would help future customers avoid the pain and frustration I have endured.
Yours sincerely,
To: John Hargrave
Dear Mr. Myers Hargrave:
Thank you for taking the time to contact us concerning Dinner Bucket Country Vegetable Soup. Your comments are appreciated because they help us to understand how we can better serve our consumers.
In appreciation of your interest, I'm sending a coupon for you to use on your next shopping trip. Again, thank you for sharing your comments with us.
Dan Bradshaw
Apparently someone forgot to notify Mr. Bradshaw that coupons can't be sent via e-mail. |
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