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Too Dirty For Words Outgoing Otto
Dictionary.com is a fine site; in fact, I consult it frequently when writing this columm. One of the sillier features, however, is a link at the top of the page that lets you get the top 10 websites for any word you look up. For instance, if you type in "rabid monkeys," you get your definition, along with a message like this:

It's some ridiculous traffic-share agreement with AskJeeves.com, and it makes no sense at all. Especially since there's no smut filter, so it will show you the top 10 sites for any word. I discovered this when I recently looked up the word "pussy," as in "filled with pus." Here's what turned up:

First of all, if these are listed in order of common usage, then the list should be reversed. I guess the folks at Houghton Mifflin are too scared to admit the real usage of some words. What a bunch of pussies.

When you click the link for the "Top 10 Most Popular Sites For Pussy," you can imagine what turns up:

Enraged, I sent them this prank e-mail:



Dear Dictionary.com:

I always thought your online dictionary site was family-friendly, so you can imagine my SHOCK and HORROR when I recently looked up the word "pussy"!!!

I have a cousin who recently lost an arm to gangrene, and I couldn't remember if the term was "pus-y," "pussy," "pus-filled," or "awash with pus." To my dismay, your site gave me the top 10 sites for the FEMALE VAGINA!!!! I was trying to find out the proper term for an oozing sore, good sirs and madams! I was not interested in HAIRY PUSSY, PRETEEN PUSSY, BLACK PUSSY, or PUSSY THUMBNAILS (whatever that is)!!! These are the sites that YOUR website returned!!!!!!!!

Now, what if my five month-old son was looking up the word for a cat, and found instead the site for ESKIMO PUSSY - WHERE THE AIR MAY BE COLD, BUT THE PUSSY IS STILL HOT!?!?? Or PUSSY AIRLINES - XXX PORNO SEX SECRETS OF PUSSY LICKING FLIGHT CREWS?!?! These are the sites referenced by YOUR WHOLESOME FAMILY SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as if that weren't enough, then you give me the option to look up "pussy" in the YELLOW PAGES! WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICK IS GOING ON HERE?!!?

I DON'T KNOW WHO THIS ASK JEEVES FELLOW IS, BUT HE IS CLEARLY A PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jim Ohn-Hargrave



I never got a response. Maybe they should change their name to DICKtionary.com.



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