People occasionally ask me if I have a fixation on doody humor. The answer, of course, is yes! But there are also many other topics I find funny, like farts and boogers.

At any rate, hopefully with this letter I got it, ah, out of my system.

Subj: Dog Owners-Free samples of low cost dog waste disposal mitt.
Date: 97-06-23 08:07:01 EDT
From: rwojack@aol.com
To: nobody@yt82xz.com

"THE DOGGONMITT"

Finally! A NEW, cheap reversible dog waste disposal mitt.

IT IS THE LAW in most public places that if your dog dos its thing, you must immediatly dispose of the by-product.

I would like to give you or your pet owner freind, 5 FREE doggonmitts!

No strings attached!

A simple free trial offer.

Order Now! Order Now! Order Now! Order Now! Order Now! Order Now!

Wait a minute, I've heard of these things before. They're called PLASTIC FRIGGIN' BAGS!

I thought it was funny that he kept, ah, stepping around the issue with euphemisms like "does its thing" and "waste."

Subj: Re: Dog Owners-Free samples of low cost dog waste disposal mitt.
Date: 97-06-27 12:31:41 EDT
From: Baked Ham
To: RWojack

What do you mean by this? What "thing" are you referring to? I'm very interested in your product (I have eight dogs), but I don't know what you're talking about. Is this some sort of program to help them learn tricks (rolling over, shaking hands, etc.)?

Thanks for your prompt reply,
John Myers Hargrave

Subj: Re: Dog Owners-Free samples of low cost dog waste disposal mitt.
Date: 97-06-27 12:52:47 EDT
From: RWojack
To: Baked Ham

We supply people such as yourself with a easy way to dispose of dog waste.

Send me your shipping address and I will send you 5 free!

Rick Wojack

How far could I take it? I wondered.

Subj: Re: Dog Owners-Free samples of low cost dog waste disposal mitt.
Date: 97-07-03 13:33:37 EDT
From: Baked Ham
To: RWojack
CC: Baked Ham

Rick:

Dog waste? I don't understand! In my opinion, no part of the dog is wasted! They're perfect creatures!

Explain yourself!
John Myers Hargrave

Apparently, about that far. Rick quit talking to me.