Why do I feel such hostility towards cereal companies? I'll tell you why: because everyone reads the back of the box while eating cereal. Yet cereal companies shirk that responsibility, filling up the back panel with inane promotions and senseless marketing phrases, such as the one I complained about here.

My idea: hire famous authors to write a short story for the back of each box. Stephen King on your Boo Berry. John Grisham on your Cheerios. Deepak Chopra on your granola.

With ideas like these, how is it that I'm not famous yet?

(Sent via Kellogg's feedback form.)

I was eating Kellogg's Corn Flakes this morning, and while reading the box, I noticed the following phrase:

"If it doesn't say Kellogg's on the box, it's not Kellogg's in the box."

Well, DUH! When I open a box of Corn Flakes, I don't expect to find Twinkies! Of course it's going to be Kellogg's! Geez!

How much money do you guys put into marketing and advertising, and this is the best you can come up with? I'm tired of being treated like a brain-dead consumer!

I want my money back!
John Myers Hargrave

P.S. And what's the deal with using a chicken for your Corn Flakes mascot? Chickens don't lay corn, they lay EGGS!

Subj: Response from Kellogg Company
Date: 97-03-07 12:58:56 EST
From: kelcrs@tmcr01.ruppman.com (Kellogg Consumer Affairs)
Sender: Postmaster@www.ssinet.com (Mail Administrator)
To: bakedham@aol.com

Dear Mr. Hargrave:

Thank you for contacting Kellogg Company regarding the packaging of KELLOGG'S CORN FLAKES. We appreciate your interest in our products.

Kellogg Company's goal is to provide consumers with wholesome, high-quality products. One area of great importance is packaging. We continually evaluate our package designs to accommodate the needs of our many different consumers.

We regret the slogan on our package concerns you. Our packages are designed to illustrate taste appeal and we feel the print content gives consumers worthwhile information concerning our products and promotions. Therefore, your concern is important to us, and we have forwarded your comments to the appropriate company officials.

Again, thank you for contacting us. We hope you will be pleased with your Kellogg selection the next time you shop.

Consumer Affairs
Kellogg Company