Gateway 2000, the highly creative computer company with the cow motif, doesn't have a WWW site - at least not that I could find. When I tried http://www.gateway.com, I got some other company named Gateway. But why let that stop me?

Subj: Question
Date: 95-08-29 09:16:25 EDT
From: Baked Ham
To: info@gateway.com
CC: Baked Ham

Hey guys!

Just wanted to say that I really love the cow stuff you do! Who would have ever thought to put cows and computers together? Wonderful!

As editor-in-chief of MOO!, a quarterly publication seeking to illumine "the divine bovine," I would like to do a short piece on you. If you'd answer the following questions, I'd be much obliged!

1) What was the inspiration for combining cows and computers?
2) Have you ever received any threats from so-called "animal rights" groups?
3) What is the per capita milk consumption of your employees?
4) Do you sell computerized cattle prods? How about other cow accessories (bells, leashes, etc.)?
5) Why cows and not some other animal (i.e., Bengali tigers, poodles)?
6) Do you have any humorous or enlightening cow stories to share?
7) What are your feelings about the role of cows in Hindu religious belief?
8) In your opinion, is the phrase "she's a cow" demeaning, or a mild compliment?
9) Do your employees ever joke that they're "herded around like cattle"?
10) Have any cow-related scandals ever taken place in your company (i.e., cow-tipping)?
11) How do you feel about the phrase "How now brown cow"? Trite or profound?
12) Are you aware of the Appalachian sport of hurling cow paddies? Your feelings on it?
13) Do you keep any cows on company premises for inspiration?
14) Any additional thoughts on cows and their place in history.

I am sure that our readers will love this piece. Thank you so much for your time.

Sincerely,
John Myers Hargrave
Editor-In-Chief, MOO!

Subj: Re: Question
Date: 95-08-29 13:33:16 EDT
From: abc@gateway.com

Greetings, and thanks for your enquiry!

Due to the nature of your request, I believe you have reached the wrong 'Gateway'.

Let me take a moment to clarify:

Gateway Communications is in no way affiliated with Gateway/2000 [the computer guys with cows on their ads].

Let me introduce Gateway Communications:

Gateway Communications was founded in 1992 during the breakup of the North Carolina CONCERT Network. The ambition of the founder of Gateway Communications was to become an Internet Service Provider for the area previously served by CONCERT. As fate would have it, Capitol Broadcasting took interest, and with significant financial resources built Interpath.

Gateway Communications continued, but in a more focused fashion, providing connectivity tools to companies interested in connecting to the Internet.

Clients of Gateway Communications include:

USA Today Sports Center
On-Line South Network
Interactive Visual Computing
American Research Group

and many others

If your company is interested in obtaining secure, high-speed Internet access, contact Alan Clegg via e-mail to abc@gateway.com. Gateway Communications looks forward to helping you connect to the world.

Alan B. Clegg
President
Gateway Communications

It's time to stand and cry | Alan B Clegg
That Freedom will not live | Owner/Principal Investor
Beyond our willingness to die | Gateway Communications
-Lester Bork | http://www.gateway.com

UPDATE: I've since received several anxious letters from Gateway 2000 employees. They do indeed have a Web site. The address is http://www.gateway2000.com.