I am not Jewish.

I am not gay.

I am not a transsexual.

So in the name of YAHWEH, will someone please explain to me how I get on these mailing lists?!?

Thank you.

Subj: http://www.nuyenta.com
Date: 97-12-17 07:44:12 EST
From: Promo@NuYenta.com (NuYenta)

Dear Friend,

NuYenta (www.nuyenta.com) is an online service designed to provide traditional Jewish matchmaking to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender friends and members of the world-wide Jewish community. As a guest you can look for a match and get your own profile... and it's FREE!

At NuYenta members and guests begin to know about each other by matching profiles. You can even include a photograph of yourself. NuYenta provides you with anonymous email and chat rooms for contacting other members and guests. We even have a bookstore specializing in books specifically written for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender friends and members of the Jewish community.

If you are looking for that special someone or would like to make some new friends then visit NuYenta. As a guest you can look for a match and get your own profile... and it's FREE!

Visit NuYenta at http://www.nuyenta.com

Subj: Re: http://www.nuyenta.com
Date: 97-12-22 15:55:32 EST
From: Baked Ham
To: Promo@NuYenta.com
CC: MShower

NuYentites:

Thanks for letting me know about your exciting new Web site. Coincidentally (or is it?) my colleague and I are starting up our own site devoted to Jewish erotica. Hailied as "the first web site devoted to frank discussion of the Jewish sexual experience," it will be located at:

http://www.jewrotica.com

Would you guys be interesting in doing some sort of cross-promotion or ad exchange program?

Thanks,
John Myers Hargrave
Site Producer
http://www.jewrotica.com

Subj: Fwd: Re: http://www.nuyenta.com
Date: 98-01-13 17:12:59 EST
From: Baked Ham
To: Promo@NuYenta.com
CC: Baked Ham

NuYentas:

Haven't heard from you guys since I sent my previous e-mail (attached below) ... hope you weren't scared away by the "ham" in my e-mail address! Rest assured I'm 100% kosher!

Are you interested in the offer?

John Myers Hargrave
Site Producer
http://www.jewrotica.com

I never received a response. But I think there's a huge need for an online transgender Jewish matchmaking service. Really. And let's not overlook these niche markets:

• Online vegetarian shopping for housewives who have converted to Hinduism

• Online bail bonds for retired Army chaplains

• Online watch repair for lactose-intolerant black Muslims