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Though some of our readers haven't been happy with Magellan's rating scheme, I think it's nice to find a Web search site where the staff have a sense of humor. Damn, that ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge is hideous. Subj: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Congratulations! Your Internet site
has been reviewed and rated by The McKinley Group's professional editorial
team, and listed in Magellan, our comprehensive Internet directory of over
1.5 million sites and 40,000 reviews. To recognize the hard work that has
gone into establishing and maintaining your site, we are awarding a special
"Reviewed by Magellan" logo for inclusion on your pages.
We encourage you to display your "Reviewed by Magellan" logo proudly. It
can be downloaded from our special logo Web page at
Here at The McKinley Group we pride ourselves on our ability to recognize
quality resources on the Net. Three primary factors are considered: depth
of content, ease of exploration, and Net appeal.
You might also want to offer visitors to your site a direct link to our
powerful search engine. Congratulations again on this award of honor. We at The McKinley Group wish
you continued success in all of your Internet endeavors.
Sincerely,
The McKinley Group, Inc.
Subj: Re: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Magellanettes:
Thanks for reviewing ZUG...and giving us two stars, no less! We were
wondering why we didn't get one star, but it's probably because our graphics
need some work. We'll get right on them! When we've improved the site, how
can we get you guys to come back and give us the coveted one-star review?
You may know that we offer our own award, the ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) award, to those
who positively review our site. Needless to say, this is an honor bestowed
upon very few!
<P><A HREF="http://www.zug.com"><IMG
SRC="http://www.netaxs.com/~cheefdan/bib.gif" ALT="ZUG"></A> Visit ZUG! It's
the webzine that's better than being kicked in the head.
A note on our ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge: in our recent contest to see who could
design the most attractive ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) logo, it was David Price's entry
that caught our fancy. David is a six-year old, differently-enabled child
from Austin, Texas. The lettering is a bit difficult to read, but David's
hope and spirit are behind every badge. And that's what ZUG is all about.
If you could display your ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge by next Wednesday, we'd
appreciate it. We're talking to some investors, and it would really impress
them.
Thanks again!
Subj: Re: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Dear Review:
I went back to Magellan today and didn't see our ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge
anywhere! We recently mentioned you in our Incoming Mail section, so why not
return the favor?
Please let me know when it will go up.
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Subj: Re: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Dear Zug,
Forgive our delay in getting back to you. The file that you sent to us 4
times is being considered by the Committee for Icons, Images, and
Illustrations. In fact, they have been in the same meeting since your
first submission. We have forwarded each copy of your ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm)
badge, as they are trying to decide which one would be most appropriate to
display. As for your request of putting it in an obscure, unused page, I am
sorry to say that until we have decided which one to use, we cannot start
to consider location. We were very close, and then your latest version
came into our email box, and now we are back to sqare one.
For what it is worth, and I am sure it is not worth very much, we have
decided that our online communications specialist should use the
ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge as his desktop pattern until such time as we are able
to decide which badge to use.
We would be happy to send you the screen snapshot as proof of our goodwill
towards the fine folks at ZUG. The image is about 80k, so in deference to
the fact that we don't know your connection speed, please let us know if
you would like to receive the image via email.
Yours in the Journey,
Ted Resnick
Subj: Re: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Mr. Resnick:
To my knowledge, we only sent you two graphics, not four. One of our
staffers recently pointed out that the highest Magellan award is FOUR stars,
not two, so perhaps this would explain ZUG's rating of two stars. Maybe you
guys are mixing up four and two?
At any rate, we can't have everything. I think David Price's wee heart would
brim with joy just knowing that the ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge was displayed on
someone's desktop. Of course, since David is sight-disabled he won't be able
to enjoy the screen shot (his eyes were lost in a tragic gunfight some years
ago).
Send on that screen shot! Don't worry about file size - my 300 baud modem
has served me well for a decade, and it's not about to give up now!
Thanking you in advance,
P.S. If you have any k00l warez, feel free to send those too. Subj: Re: Your site reviewed and rated by Magellan
Dear Mr. Hargrave,
Please accept this image with my compliments. Wishing you the best that
this world can offer, and then some. I leave you with my favorite sig file,
courtesy of Dr. Louis Schmier
Ted Resnick
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We're sending you our official ZUG-O-RIFIC(tm) badge, which we'd like you to
prominently place somewhere on Magellan, along with a link to our site.
Here's the HTML you can use.
