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| Bad Pussy |
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I'm one of those people who believes cats are evil, a master race slowly trying to exterminate humans by making us conform to their diabolical wills. Sure, they may look cute and cuddly, but observe the following.
Subj: Personlized Gifts for People & Pet Lovers!
Hi, My name is Chelsea and I'm a cat. And being a pampered cat, I know
the purrrrr-fect gift when I see it. One day, right after a nap and well
before mealtime, there wasn't much to do and I was kind of bored. As
I yawned and looked around, in search of a bug to chase or a glint of
sunlight to bat at, I suddenly came across a thing-a-ma-bob my Mom calls a
Com-pu-ter. Well, let me tell you, a whole new world opened up to me.
Suddenly I had a way to share my unique feline genius with the world. I
started creating personalized gifts about cats and begrudgingly "the D word"
(Dogs) and also for people. (They know where the food's stashed
so it's only fair to include them. And after all, a good ear or tummy rub
deserves at least some items!)
Anyway to visit the most purrr-fectly spectacular web site to see samples,
get more information or place an order go to: http://www.flash.net/~chelsea9
Drop in anytime and often. New gift ideas will be bouncing up all
the time. Well, enough about me. It's ten minutes to nap time and
I have to scout out the purrr-fect spot so I can dream up more great
gift ideas to offer you. Mmmmmm Tuna flavored toothpaste! nahhhhh.
See you there,
Isn't that just adorable? A cute little cat writing a personalized e-mail! Precious! Until I contradicted her. Subj: Re: Personlized Gifts for People & Pet Lovers!
I am very very offended that you are referring to Chelsea Clinton in this
way. Just because she's not the prettiest girl in the world people like you
have to refer to her as a "cat" or a "dog" just to sell your products! My
youth group and I pray for people like you every day, and we are going to add
your company to the list!
It makes me ashamed to be an American!
John Myers Hargrave
Subj: Re: Personlized Gifts for People & Pet Lovers!
Obviously your youth, ignorance, and stupidity are showing. Just for
your information my company was named well before Chelsea Clinton was
born. This company now and NEVER has been associated with the
aforementioned person. As as for your list, you know what you can do
with it when you have time. By the way, I'm sure Baked Ham is an
appropriate name for you. In short grow up, and oh yes, I'm not proud
that YOU are American.
CEO of Chelsea Productions
Wow! What a pussy! 
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