Subj: MEDICAL MARIJUANA BUTTER
Date: 97-07-20 21:46:37 EDT
From: SALES@USA.NET
Reply-to: sales@cprlaa.com
To: sales@cprlaa.com

SELF EXPLANATORY MESSAGE!

1.4oz Jar of MEDICAL MARIJUANA BUTTER and 2 receipies

Send $35.00 check or money order to:
{make payable to CPR}

CPR International Dept#1
15900 Crenshaw blvd. #1310
Gardena California 90249

allow 4-6 weeks for delivery

COOL huh? Don't ask STUPID Questions!

From the look of this e-mail, I'd say these guys are on a diet rich in butter, if you get my meaning.

Subj: Re: MEDICAL MARIJUANA BUTTER
Date: 97-07-23 10:11:19 EDT
From: Baked Ham
To: SALES@usa.net, sales@cprlaa.com
CC: Baked Ham

Sorry for asking STUPID QUESTIONS, amigos, but I'm feeling pretty STUPID STONED rightn ow, if you get my dirft! How the hell are you guys selling this LEGALLY? How POTENT is it? Dammit, how do you smoke BUTTER In your BONG? Do I have to be SICK to order some? Can you put it on PANCAKESS or TOAST? Where do you guys get youR WEED to make that SHIT? Do you guys like to WAKE AND BAKE like me? Yeah booyee! Ever notice how your THUMB looks so much like the rest of your fingers? Why do we always consider GOD to be a male, because Arent't there femininne aspects to GOD TOO? Oh MAN I am RAMBLIGN but its only because I am STONED out of my GOURD, if you know what I'm saying! Answer me these questions becuase I'd love some of that MEDIACL POT BUTTER!

John myers Hargarve

I waited two weeks for a response (enough time for them to watch every Pauly Shore movie and go through two cases of Tostitos), and then followed up.

Subj: Re: Re: MEDICAL MARIJUANA BUTTER
Date: 97-08-08 12:55:22 EDT
From: Baked Ham
To: SALES@usa.net, sales@cprlaa.com
CC: Baked Ham

I am STILL WASTING IN SPACE, amigos! And you STILL have not answered me simpely quesiosn! How am i sUPPOSED to get this KILLER BUD BUDDER fro myou guys if you wont' even tell me about the PRODUCT? Do you make lowfat POT MARGARINE for those watching their colestroerol? Is there POT OLEO for southereners?

ANSWER ME!
John meyrs Hargrave

P.S They don't call me BAKED HAM Ffor nothing` you know!

Finally, I received my reply.

Subj: Returned mail: User unknown
Date: 97-08-08 02:13:11 EDT
From: MAILER-DAEMON@aol.com (Mail Delivery Subsystem)
To: BakedHam@aol.com

----- The following addresses have delivery notifications -----
sales@cprlaa.com (unrecoverable error)
SALES@usa.net (unrecoverable error)

----- Transcript of session follows -----
550 sales@cprlaa.com... Host unknown (Name server: cprlaa.com: host not found)
... while talking to mxpool01.netaddress.usa.net.:
>>> RCPT To:
<<< 551 ... User cancelled for spamming
550 SALES@usa.net... User unknown

This column is getting goofy. All I do is write messages to myself.