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| Bad Wiring |
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I'll bet now the HotWired staff is kicking themselves that they didn't accept my submission. Subj: Question
My company is planning to launch a new Web site next month called HotWeird. We are in the beta testing stages, but just yesterday someone phoned and said we might run into legal problems with a magazine called HotWired.
Up until now, we had no knowledge of your existence. Do you foresee any problems? Rest assured that the content of HotWeird is utterly unlike HotWired: we plan to focus mostly on cutting-edge digital issues, the impact of technology on society, that sort of thing.
I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
P.S. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, do you think we could borrow some of the opening graphics from your main screen? Those are really nice.
Subj: HotWeird
Dear Mr. Ham,
Or may I call you "JOHN995843?" Thank you for taking the time to alert us to the existence of your HotWeird project. Since you are in the beta testing stage, it is probably safe to assume that you are 12 to 15 months away from being live on the Web. In the interim, our cadre of intellectual property attorneys will be working on new and devious, but legal, ways to make your life, and mine, completely miserable. And with regard to the really nice icons on our opening screen, they are really nice, aren't they? They are so nice that we don't share them with anyone. Ever. Ha ha. Too bad. Sorry.
Thanks again for taking the time to send us your delightful e-mail message. It brightened an otherwise dull day.
Sincerely,
Subj: RE: HotWeird
Dear Mr. Van Woert:
I believe you mistook my last message to be humorous - and although the editorial viewpoint of HotWeird is meant to be lighthearted and whimsical, I was quite serious in my request.
>>Since you are in the beta testing stage, it is probably safe to assume that you
We are in our final beta testing stages, and we plan to launch next month if all goes well.
>>In the interim, our cadre of intellectual property attorneys will be
We simply wish to know if using the name HotWeird will be considered theft of intellectual property. If you could refer me to said attorneys, I would be more than happy to consult with them.
Thanks again,
Subj: RE: HotWeird
From: ross@wired.com (Ross Van Woert)
Dear Mr. Hargrave,
Thanks for offering to talk directly with our attorneys. I'm sure they would enjoy talking with you while the meter is running; however, I politely decline your offer.
On a more serious note, I ask with all due respect that you set aside this ruse and move on to something else. In your original message you claimed ignorance of HotWired. However, our records show that a John Hargrave submitted a piece entitled "Techno-Shamans in Texas" (copyright 1994) to HotWired. Although our editorial staff chose not to publish that work, they are of the opinion that the author was treated fairly and courteously. If you are the author in question and feel that you were treated unfairly by anyone at HotWired, I offer my apologies.
Sincerely,
Subj: RE: HotWeird
Dear Mr. Van Woert:
You may recall my questions a few weeks ago about my company's Web site entitled HotWeird. I am sad to say that our financial backing has fallen through.
One of the backers (my brother, Antone) knows Wayne Wynton, creator of the videogame SPACE WINKY, which as I'm sure you know launched the 1980's arcade craze. We figured we could count on him for a few million, but apparently he was caught up in a huge legal battle some years ago over a child who lost a leg in a SPACE WINKY game cabinet. The lawsuit has left him penniless.
The other backer (my sister, Desmenda) left on a goodwill trip to Peru to promote HotWeird. Sadly, she fell in love with a potter named Raoul and has refused to return.
So it would appear that HotWeird will be remembered as a vision that was ahead of its time. I won't be needing the assistance of your lawyers after all.
Best wishes for your little Web venture,
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