From: Lela Janna
Sent: Monday, April 26 11:32 PM
Subject: Ur Diicky Is So Smaall chief vibratile freeloader
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Increase the length of your DICCKY by 2-5 full inches
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At first, I was hurt. "What's wrong with the size of my DICCKY?" I thought to myself. "No woman has ever made fun of my length, nor my girth."
"At least, not to your face," added my ruthlessly cruel self-esteem.
Just as few women are happy with their breasts, I think most guys are unhappy with their penises, which is why they beat them so often. And we wouldn't be receiving up to forty "penis enlargement" e-mails a day if there weren't so many guys buying these solutions. So I'm trying a little experiment: I'm going to start taking these penis pills, and report what happens.I spent an unbelievable amount of time scouring the Web for the best penis enlargement product. This was a difficult task, because every penis enlargement product is "the best." Every single product is also "guaranteed," and offers "permanent results." I had to look at many disgusting photos -- such as this one, which is guaranteed to make every man wince:
After a few hours of browsing these sites, I have the impression that we are a nation of men with microscopic organs that can only be located with the aid of powerful electron microscopes. The average penis size, I found out, is between 5.5 and 6 inches -- but apparently women want lovers who need to drape their penises over a hook at night, lest they get all tangled up in their penis as they sleep.
"How long do you continue to take VIMAX PILLS?" asks the Web site for Vimax, one of the 25,000 penis pills on the market. The surprising answer: "Our recommendation is when you get to 8 inches stop taking VIMAX PILLS but the choice is up to you." But what if you don't stop at 8 inches? I could just imagine my penis growing to 44 or 45 inches in size, long enough to get the leaves out of my gutters in the springtime. That would be awesome.
But wait, there's more! In addition to "mind-blowing orgasms" and "improved sexual stamina," some pills can also "triple the amount of semen you produce." This is from prosolutionspills.com, which promises, "it will flow out all over your girlfriend drowning her in your semen. The power of your ejaculation will improve so when your orgasm is 'shoots out'." That's a direct quote. I think that all of us want improve so when our orgasm is "shoots out." I know I do.
But I needed a real guarantee. I didn't want gains of "up to" "3+ inches," in "as little as" "several weeks," I wanted a hard and fast claim, if you'll pardon the expression. Either the penis pills delivered, or they didn't. Finally, while doing a Google search for "penis enlargement" (which currently returns 1.3 million results -- try it yourself), I found this sponsored link:
Bingo! I will either gain 2 inches, 3 inches, or 5 inches within 60 days. It's guaranteed. I can't lose.
I can't wait until this stuff arrives. Just think of the look on Lela Jenna's face, when I've packed on an additional 2, 3, or even 5 inches.
I'm telling you, the woman never should have made fun of my DICCKY.
