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| We're doing another pumpkin prank this year, and if you
live in Arkansas, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Mississippi, Montana,
Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Dakota, Rhode Island,
South Carolina, Tennessee, Utah, Washington, West Virginia, or Wyoming,
then we need your help. "The All-American Pumpkin Prank" will require one "volunteer representative" from each of the 50 United States. I will carve a pumpkin into 50 jigsaw-puzzle pieces and send one piece to each of our volunteers by mail. The volunteers will then mark the name of their state on the pumpkin piece, along with any regional touch they can think of (such as dipping the Vermont piece in maple syrup, or covering the New Jersey piece in human poo), and then mail it back to me. So far, we have thirty states represented, but we still need your help to cover the remaining twenty. "What's in it for me?" you ask. Only the chance to represent your state, to be the citizen who will lead the way in this historic stunt. "Someone else will do it," you're thinking, but what if they don't? What if Utah is the only state not represented in The All-American Pumpkin Prank, and that's where you live? Can you imagine the scorn and mockery that will be heaped upon your home state because you did not step up to the plate? Believe me, Utah is not a state that can handle more ridicule. Best of all, it's ridiculously simple. You get the package in the mail, you scribble something on it, you mail it back. Where's the work? I'm the one stuck with all the work, as usual. So take the first step. Do it now. If you live in one of the 20 remaining states, sign up for The All-American Pumpkin Prank by filling out this form. |
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