LUBE JOB: The ZUG Stimulation Contest Introduction 3RD PLACE: Porno for Pythons 2ND PLACE: Fantasies on Ice 1ST PLACE: Optimus Primed

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With this contest, it all came down to the slickest entry.

We recently ran the ZUG Stimulation Contest, where we challenged users to slather Stimula brand sex lubricant on funny objects, then report on what happened. The funniest-rated submission would earn $200.00, and a hand towel.

We ended up with three entries, one male and two female, and all quite funny. In Porno For Pythons, ZUG reader Thud risked animal cruelty charges by lubing up his pet snake.

Not surprisingly, ZUG readers rated the articles from women even higher. In fact, the ratings were neck and neck (or the body part of your choice) between Fantasies on Ice, where Pegalossa slathered her body in Stimula before a hockey game, and Optimus Primed, where Undies used Stimula to tear her husband away from watching "Transformers" for the 30th time.

In the end, the photo montage of Transformers having sex with each other, dripping with sexual lubricant, is what you perverts voted funniest. And so we congratulate Underwhere and her husband Spicey for their well-oiled comedy machine. She tells me that they will be using the prize money to buy, yes, more Stimula.

It seems there really is more to Transformers than meets the eye.