I decided to see if Ticketmaster had really changed. I wrote the following request for information using Ticketmaster's submission form. (Why don't these companies supply an e-mail address?)
Dear Masters O' The Ticket:I have a question. Last summer I went to see the much-hyped David Bowie/Nine Inch Nails concert. I paid about thirty dollars for my seat, which was in the "lawn" area of Great Woods Ampitheatre in Massachusetts.
I waited for two hours to get in the gates. During this time I was smothered in a sea of pre-teens dressed in whiteface. I guess this was a tribute to Nine Inch Nails, but I felt like I was at a KISS convention. The kids kept singing Nine Inch Nails songs over and over again, embarrassing me so greatly that I had to develop a cover story of really being there to see David Bowie.
I was frisked like a common criminal and eventually let in the gates. However, I was told that the blanket I was carrying (to sit on the "lawn") would not be allowed in. So off to the car I trudged, only to wait in line once more.
Upon arriving at the "lawn," I discovered why I had been using the word in quotes. What had once been a green, hilly terrain was now a sand pit. Under no stretch of the imagination could this be called a "lawn," unless those things that sit immediately adjacent to oceans are also called "lawns." This was something out of Return of the Jedi. It was dry, barren dunes as far as the eye could see.
Nor were there assigned seats, so most of the 12-year olds stood in an angry mass at the front, conveniently obliterating the view of the stage.
The "lawn" speakers, designed to give me the illusion that I was actually near the concert, gave out while playing the warmup music. Power was never restored.
My experience wasn't all bad, however. I had a friend at the show who had real seats, near the stage. Not being a fan of Nine Inch Nails, he let me borrow his tickets for that part of the show. (In case you're worried that he got his excellent seats legitimately, don't worry! He knew a member of the band.)
Upon arriving at the pavillion, I found that not only were his seats exceptional, but there were SIX ROWS of empty seats in front of him. SIX ROWS! Six rows of seats that were supposedly sold out the minute tickets went on sale to the public. (My ticket, purchased the moment they went on sale, was allegedly the best Ticketmaster had to offer).
So I enjoyed the show with the spoiled rich kids. They ran back and forth, showing each other their backstage passes, generally not listening to a note of the music. Why should they? They didn't have to work for these tickets.
After Nine Inch Nails, I went back to the "lawn," where I tried to see or hear something, to no avail. I wanted to sit down, but I had no blanket and didn't want sand in my butt. I went to get a beer, but all they had was $5.00 Budweiser (I am not allowed to drink Budweiser because of my faith).
At the end of the night, I was enraged. "I am NEVER going to another corporate rock show again!" I screamed. "From now on, I'm only attending local bands or small clubs! Screw this!"
I realize that Ticketmaster has nothing to do with these problems, that these are issues with the venue (Great Woods Ampitheatre in Massachusetts). I realize that it would be ludicrous to imply that Ticketmaster had any bearing on the quality of my experience, but I just wanted to give you some background for my question.
My question is this: are there any seats left for the Red Hot Chili Peppers show on February 8th?
Thanks!
John Hargrave
It was, I thought, a simple question. Were there any seats left for the Chili Peppers? What the hell was the point of their Web site if they couldn't provide me with this information? Little did I realize the sulfur and fire I would have to endure to get a simple answer.
Subj: Re: Comments about Ticketmaster
Date: 96-01-12 17:03:17 EST
From: tmcmt@customer-service.ticketmaster.com (Ticketmaster Comment)
To: bakedham@aol.comThis is an automatically generated response.
Please do not respond to this message.Thank you for sending mail to customer-service.ticketmaster.com.
A real person will read your message in due course.
Due course? Who the hell is their PR person? They're supposed to say as soon as possible. So I waited a few days ("due course" to me) for the "real person" to respond. That didn't happen. So I fired the next shot.
