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I may have been ripped off by an Indian scam operation. So I moved on to the
country where you can get anything: Switzerland.  "Me so horny." This online pharmacy Web site, which is supposedly based in Switzerland, has received many online complaints from customers who never received their orders, so it sounded like the kind of crack offshore operation that would probably ship Viagra to an infant.  I like the idea of trial packs. "Hell, if one doesn't work, try 'em all."  "Approved by the Medical Stock Photography Association" Fortunately, they had a 24/7 chat line so I could talk with a live operator first, to see what I was getting into. Keanue: How can I help you today? Robert69: HELLO Robert69: R U THERE Keanue: yes Robert69: ARE YOU A MEDICAL EXPERT Keanue: No Robert69: CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION THEN Keanue: Yes Robert69: I NEED SOME VIAGRA FOR MY SIX MONTH OLD INFANT Keanue: its only for the people of 21years and above Robert69: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERENT A MEDICAL EXPERT Robert69: ?! Robert69: THIS SOUNDS LIKE MEDICAL ADVICE Robert69: !! Keanue: as a mature do you think that these kind of medications are made for the babies Robert69: BUT SHE'S GOT THE ECSEMA Keanue: i would advise you to consult with your family doctor ] Robert69: WE DONT HAVE A DOCTOR, WE'RE CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST Robert69: !! Keanue: GO TO A DOCTOR ROBERT Keanue: ASK HIM AND THEN DECIDE Robert69: you don't have to yell. Robert69: geez. Robert69: hang on, i'm going to get my doctor. Robert69: one second. Robert69: ok, he's here. i'm going to put him on now. Robert69: HELLOW KEQNUE THIS IS ROBERTS DOCTOR Robert69: HOW ARE YOU TODAY IN SWITSERLAND! Keanue: how much you want to order Robert69: THATS MORE LIKE IT! Robert69: HE WOULD LIKE A WHOLE BAG OF VIAGRA Keanue: within a minute how you got your doctor Robert69: JUST DUMP IT INTO A GARBAGE SACK Robert69: HELLOW? Robert69: THIS IS ROBERTS DOCTOR, I MEAN ... UH ... DOCTOR ... KLEIN. Robert69: ROBERT KLEIN Robert69: I MEAN DR. ROBERT KLEIN Robert69: I MEAN ROBERTS DOCTOR, DR. KLEIN Robert69: MY FIRST NAME IS BOB ACTUALLY Robert69: HELLOW!!! Robert69: THIS IS TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE! Robert69: HIS BABY NEEDS A HEFTY BAG OF VIAGRA! This wasn't exactly the kind of customer service I pictured from Switzerland. Maybe they're so busy blowing those Alpine horns they can't type normally. As a last resort, I called their customer service line, to see if I could place an order that way. I spoke with a middle-aged Indian gentleman who did not sound Swiss at all. ZUG.COM: I'd like to order some of your fine Viagra, please.  "WAAAAA-HAAAAAH! ME WANT UNWICENSED DWUG FWOM UNWEGULATED OFFSHOWE PHAWMACY!" ZUG: It's okay. She's very young. 100 mg would be great. That's, like, a tenth of a gram. That's a baby dose. Some of you would be too afraid to order from this kind of establishment, but I was willing to sacrifice my entire credit rating for comedy. I ordered the Viagra from the freaky Indian-Swiss pharmacy with the apalling customer service. They didn't need a prescription or my medical history -- this is how ordering illegal drugs over the Internet should be. | |||||||||||||
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